CREATURE
Folks around these parts like to point to Carnegie-MellonUniversity’s Theatre Department and crow its many virtues when famous alumni are mentioned. Go to CMU and you’re practically guaranteed a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. That’s an exaggeration, but it should be true considering the tuition rates to attend CMU. Well, that most noble institution now has a bit of competition. Indiana University of Pennsylvania (IUP) has unleashed its own star. She is Jennifer Lynn Warren, an Altoona native. She has a small part, but a crucial one, as she highlights the set up and opening scene for CREATURE, one of the few monster movies to actually feature a monster. Warren dominates the opening six minutes. Her performance includes a strip scene, full frontal nudity (no sign of John Cleese, Eric Idle or the rest of the Python group) and an attack by the monster which results in her gruesome demise. In one scene, she embodies the essence of good monster movies: She goes where she shouldn’t and does silly stupid things, she provides eye candy, and then she dies much to the audience and make up department’s delight. Brava! Those fans reading this, and you are legion, who may not be aware of the local college scenario, this is truly a momentous occasion. IUP is really not known for anything, save losing to California University of Pennsylvania (CAL) on a regular basis in every athletic event. Win-win! Hollywood has a new B-Schlock scream queen and IUP has a reason to point and yell “See!”.
Decent monster movies are hard to find. That’s because somewhere in the late 80’s and early 90’s, producers decided monster movies should feature psycho – deranged killers and not monsters. The concept, dragged straight from the feminista propaganda book, perpetrated the myth that all men are monsters and brutes at their core. This is an ideology spawned from the most feeble minded of emotionally bundled liberals, yet the gore factor in these movies were, and still are enough to keep the younger audiences enthralled and the box office returns high. Monster movies became serial killer movies. So, when an actual monster shows up in a monster movie, it’s time for a celebration. CREATURE has a monster, and it’s a pretty good one – rubber body suit and all.
The movie opens in the top 20 markets today. After a limited run, if the box office returns are solid, CREATURE will have a wider distribution, including PITTSBURGH. Considering the friendly ghost and sparkling vampire films we've been plagued with, CREATURE would be a welcome change.
CREATURE stars Mehcad Brooks, Dillon Casey, Amanda Fuller, Sid Haig, Aaron Hill, Lauren Schneider, Serinda Swan and Rebekah Kennedy. None are particularly impressive in this outing. The majority have appeared on various TV shows. The most recognizable face is that of Haig who will always be remembered as Rob Zombies’ favorite lunatic.
The set up is simple: Three couples travel to the back swamps of Louisiana for a camping excursion and opt to visit a local haunted establishment. Nothing new or innovate here. It doesn’t take the experienced monster film buff more than 20 minutes to discern why this locale was chosen and by whom.
The haunted house is visited by a creature, half man, half albino alligator. Back in the day (which Dane Cook says was a Wednesday) a clan of inbred swamp folk where relying on the last of its sisters to bear fruit and keep the family line viable. Before she can give birth, however, she is killed by a killer albino alligator. Enraged, her brother/husband goes in search of the beast, finds it, kills it and becomes so consumed by rage, transforms into a hybrid of the creature. Interesting twist, one borrowed from an old CREEPY magazine story, even if it is a bit stretched.
After the set up, writer Tracy Morse loses all concept of continuity. For some unexplained reason, the town folk feel if they make sacrifices to the monster, they will be prosperous. The town is a one horse establishment, at best, so the prosperity is greatly lacking. Each year, the town folk sacrifice a young nubile nymph to the gator-man, so the family line can continue to grow. They also collect body parts from family members. Why, isn’t exactly clear and its never revealed where the body parts go. The subplot is underdeveloped and is jammed into an already past the credibility limit, like a round peg in a square hole.
KEY SCENES TO LOOK FOR:
1. THE OPENING SWIM
2. THE SINK HOLE
Gator-man only appears at night, thereby putting all the pressure of making the monster look good on the lighting crew, rather than the make up crew. Jerry Constantine heads the SFX team. They’ve created a monster that is not as campy as THE ALLIGATOR PEOPLE, which I’m sure inspired this flick, and is somewhat reminiscent of the alien monster in IT: TERROR FROM BEYOND SPACE, which, of course was the inspiration for Ridley Scott’s ALIEN. Exemplifying a limited budget (the film was made for roughly $3 million), the final confrontation between the monster and the protagonist is never shown. Both go into a sink hole, and one emerges, leaving the viewer to scream “What the hell just happened?”
Most decent monster movies have a veiled social commentary as a running theme. CREATURE personifies global unification by creating an interracial protagonist team, and repeats unsubstantiated mantras about religion. It seems the concept is to epitomize the Louisiana swamp folk as basket cases “who cling to their guns and religion”. Gee, that sounds awfully familiar! What kind of world leader would be so insensitive?
There are a few required “ta-daa” scenes with cats and birds to make the girls scream, but the monster is basically reduced to a secondary character to the shenanigans of the townsfolk. Not explaining the hows and whys of what’s going on hurts Director Fred Andrews’ endeavor. Not showing the final climatic encounter is even more of a faux pas. Interesting monster tale, and decent looking monster, but this story has holes so big Amtrak could use them as tunnels. Not even Roger Corman leaves holes this big in his stories.
THE RATING FOR CREATURE = C
BFCA RATING = 5/10
-30-
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