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Awful performers hog the American Idol stage in Los Angeles, pt. 2

Cooper Robinson brought the bells and whistles off of the plantation and onto American Idol with his audition.
Cooper Robinson brought the bells and whistles off of the plantation and onto American Idol with his audition.

American Idol


On Day 2, we saw a product of the MySpace auditions with New York native Karen Rodriguez. Her voice was pretty great in a technical way, though there was nothing special that could be pinpointed in the performance. After the judges fawned over her and she earned her golden ticket, Karen gushed, “I want to be the first Latina American Idol.” Maybe Karen will get her shot in the further rounds that are on their way.

Tynisha Roches had also traveled to LA to audition, this time from New Jersey. Her mental stability was questioned from the get go – Tynisha brought a microphone with her, insisted on talking into it 100% of the time that she was speaking, and wouldn’t stop screaming a muted “ow!” in response to… well, almost everything. She sang her own “tribute to Frank Sinatra,” and though she chalked her poor performance up to nerves, they were clearly not the only things hindering Tynisha from greatness. Her delivery was breathy and flat, and she sang with a desperate tone in her voice. “I’m a great singer, I have like three albums that are ready to be composed!” she proclaimed, before chasing Randy around the audition room with another song. Every time the judges tried to tell her anything, she broke into yet another tune, until finally security had to escort her out of the room. “You win some, you lose some,” she shrugged in the elevator out of the building. “It doesn’t mean you’re not a star.” What a fabulous attitude to have, considering you’ve just presented yourself as a nut case to America.

Heidi Khzam belly danced her way into Steven’s and Randy’s hearts. They did have her sing, and though her voice was thin, weak, and slightly under pitch, Randy yelled, “Welcome to Hollywood!” without waiting to conference with anyone else. Good to see Randy’s really concerned with the vocal talent this season.

“I’m the one and only Matthew Scott Frankel, and I’m the CEO of MSFP,” the next contestant proclaimed as his image appeared on our screens. Big Stats, his hop hop alter ego, was the one to show up in front of the judges, though. He gave a sort of interesting, awful rap that he labeled his “formal introduction.” “No, no, no,” Randy chanted as that finished up. He chose to sing J. Lo’s “I’m Real,” and it was just as disastrous. As the judges paused, trying to figure out a way to let Matt down gently, he desperately threw out to Jen, “I loved you in Selena, by the way.” His sucking up didn’t help his case at all, though. However, Matt lovers, never fear! Big Stats promised us that he’ll be returning next year to audition again. I, for one, can’t wait. (I hope everyone read that with the sarcasm it was intended to be read with.)

Mark Gutierrez, 28, his brother, Aaron, 27, and their scarves all sang together on a lovely version of “Lean on Me.” They were generically good and brought a fun vibe to the room. “It was god like, the way you guys sang. That two people can sing that well together – it was unreal,” Steven approved. No obligatory solo performances for these brothers – they got their yeses without having to prove their individual vocal prowess.

The night closed out with a “Pants on the Ground” type performance from Cooper Robinson. Cooper is from Arkansas, specifically from “on the plantation.” He proceeded to scream through “I Feel Good” while jumping around, causing the bells on his outfit to jingle happily and the feathers on his hat to flop around. As he mumbled words that didn’t come close to making sentences, the judges laughed genially at him. Other than that, they had no response for the (possibly) 59 year old. Who claims he’s more handsome than a giraffe.

Next week, the last audition city awaits in San Francisco – we’ve been promised sob stories and actual talent (which will be a nice change after last night’s freak show). Then, on Thursday, the drama of Hollywood kicks into high gear. Find out which one of the promoted will break down into tears and which ones will take the next step toward greatness.