Again, an Uwe Boll film. Again, based on a video game. Again, a waste of nearly two hours.
Alone in the Dark is a film that came out in 2005 based on a group of video games by the same name that came out in the 90's which were inspired by the works many different artists such as H.R. Geiger and the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. Now the film is not really based, but more the title is based on the games as the film deviates from the original games much like Boll's earlier film House of the Dead.
When H.P. Boll was purchasing rights for 90's video games at a yard sale, he probably found this gem hidden below and instead of researching it, he made drawings based on the title alone. Those drawing turned into words and eventually our screenplay.
In the film we follow Edward Carnby (played by Christian Slater) who lost his memory at an orphanage when he was 10. 10 years later, seeing things he couldn't explain at the orphanage, Carnby somehow got a position with Bureau 713 which is a secret government bureau which investigates the paranormal. At 713, whenever Carnby would find an artifact of a tribe called the Abkani, it would then be labeled classified and stowed away. Realizing that he would never get answers, Carnby quit the bureau and became a solo paranormal investigator ever since. Sometime later as people from his orphanage become missing and creatures begin to start popping up and killing thanks to a dug up artifact let loose by a crazy museum curator, Carnby just might find some answers for his memory loss as he reunites with his past.
Let's start with the acting. We have Stephen Dorff and Christian Slater who are actually, dare I say, good. Slater does a Christian Slater performance where he just kind of trails off as usual, but for some reason it works here as Carnby. While Dorff on the other hand, plays a man that Slater used to work with at 713, goes a bit over the top and is actually trying to give a performance. It feels as if he is just angry at everything and acts as if were cast in a Spike Lee film.
Tara Reid plays the love interest of Christian Slater and though she can be a decent actress, in here she is not. Not only is she miscast, but it seems as though all of her footage was done with one take as she just wants to get through the lines, go home, get her paycheck, and go film Taradise (ever think you would hear of tha show again?).
The rest of the actors are alright. The only one who stands out though is an extra who dies at one point and before it cuts away, she begins to move again. Other than that, the rest are just so bland.
The editing is so much better in this film than House of the Dead as there is no interspersing of random game footage throughout the film, though it would make a hilarious Youtube video (you're welcome). Also, Uwe Boll must have finally showed up on set as actors kind of know what to do. That or these guys have been in so many movies by now they understand acting.
The writing is worse than 'House' if you can believe that as the film begins with an extremely long explanation of a tribe called the Abkani which by the time is done being explained, the film is half way over.
The CGI is some of the worst since The Scorpion King's body in The Mummy Returns. For instance, some effects believe it or not are misplaced and miss the thing it was supposed to hit completely. At one point in the film, a bullet effect misses it target completely by going to the right of it but the actor still falls. It's as if the film was a hobby on the off days for the CG artists.
Alone in the Dark is a film that is so boring that by the time you wake up from the films intro, you realize that you should have just finger painted for 90 minutes as you would have had more of a fun time and been more productive because you could have made a Thanksgiving hand turkey for your fridge.
This is only an opinion, what's yours?