85th Oscars nothing to write home about

The champagne has poured, the tears of joy and disappointment have been shed and the 2013 Academy Awards telecast has come and gone. The four hour affair (so much for streamlining) dragged on through the end credits with host Seth MacFarlane and Kristin Chenoweth singing a questionable song to the losers. While the evening was not all Oscar gold, there were several highlights to go along with the low moments, but, for the most part, this year’s big night for the movies simply got it done.

The hands down best entertainment was a stunning celebration of the big movie musicals of the last decade. Catherine Zeta-Jones kicked it off strutting her Broadway song and dance skills with a reprise of her Oscar winning role in “Chicago.” Her full production number of “All That Jazz” with a company of dancers was dazzling. Jennifer Hudson then took the stage solo and wowed us with her big number from “Dreamgirls” that reminded us why she won the Oscar. And finally, all the stars from “Les Miserables” were joined by a full ensemble for a rousing and unforgettable medley.

83 year old Tony and Oscar winning veteran Christopher Plummer added a touch of class presenting the Supporting Actress award after a funny Family von Trapp escape introduction from “The Sound of Music.” And the most unexpected comedy moment of the evening came not from the awards show, but from a commercial. The classic Grey Poupon ad from decades past returned with a not so civil continuation pitting the old gents against one another in a car chase.

If only the tribute to 50 years of James Bond had been as interesting. Halle Berry introduced a choppily edited montage that was almost saved by Shirley Bassey taking stage and performing her title tune from “Goldfinger.” The six actors who’ve portrayed Bond, sadly, did not make an appearance.

Presenting duo Paul Rudd and Melissa McCarthy were embarrassingly bad in their attempt at comedy and Mark Wahlberg and Ted also brought things to a halt. Then there was the radio announcer voiced host Seth MacFarlane who survived the evening for the most part. However, he also provided the night’s most uncomfortable moment with a poor taste joke involving John Wilkes Booth and Lincoln.

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, Roanoke Classic Movies Examiner

Originally from Los Angeles, Jeffrey McGullion has lived in Roanoke, VA for the last twenty years. He earned a B.A. in Drama from the University of Georgia and has performed on stage and film in over thirty productions. His independent films "The Shrub Whisperer" and "Leverage" may be viewed on...

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