Dating as business - Are you succeeding at the dating business?

Many years ago, a close friend of my brother living in Wisconsin, shared with us his excitement and how thrilled he was to be getting married.  But what he said about his process of finding a wife has stayed with me all these years.  Working at a local hospital, he said that he had literally asked out every single nurse at that hospital.  Every single nurse turned him down, rejected him and refused to go out on a date with him.  Every single nurse, that is, except for one.  And that one nurse became his wife.  He described it as a numbers game, very much the way salespeople are taught to think.  This brave young man treated his dating and relating life in the same way.  Every rejection brought him that much closer to his final success, finding a wife.

Now, his story may have been a bit of an exaggeration.  Probably he had actually gone on one or more dates with several of the nurses at that hospital and perhaps several women who were not nurses and did not even work at the hospital.  And maybe all of those nurses had not rejected him.  Perhaps he had even rejected a few of them.  But nevertheless, he had developed a thick skin and was not floored by receiving rejections.  Instead, he maintained the attitude:  "Next!"

So today, when I read an article on AOL.com about a guy named Ron who went on a self-proclaimed mission to find a wife, I was immediately reminded of the plight of my brother's friend from Wisconsin, so many years ago.  Ron took his dating life seriously.  As he said, "I'd work at it two to three hours a night."  He was treating his goal of finding a wife the same way any saleperson might treat their individual sales process. 

Ron weeded out the women he met online as the process went on.  At first he was sending emails to hundreds of women.  Gradually he became increasingly more selective and probably began to hone in on those personality traits and specific attitudes and behaviors that best suited his desires and needs.

After weeding through three dates a day and becoming more and more clear about what really appeals to him, he finally met the love of his life, Sheryl.  Unlike Ron's casting a wide net and weeding through the rubble tactics, Sheryl had done lots of self-reflection and had made big changes in her life prior to meeting Ron.  She was tentatively allowing herself to re-enter the dating world after her divorce that ended a 13 year marriage. 

Fate brought them together.  They felt their souls and their personalities had clicked immediately on their first coffee date.  They were married one year later.  This happy couple met on a site called Jdate - www.jdate.com/.  But if Ron had given up after a month or two of unsuccessful or disappointing liaisons or if Sheryl had not taken the time she needed to discover what she truly wanted, they might never have met.

Have you personally tried online dating and developed ongoing, successful relationships?  Did you meet your significant other or spouse online?  Are you someone who tried it a few times, didn't like it, and chose instead to limit your source of meeting new people?  Or do you prefer to meet people serendipitously, without prior planning, allowing the fates to guide you toward each other?

Read more about how this one lucky couple met and another unlikely couple and fell in love through online dating and perhaps give yourself a relationship boost by developing a new perspective on your dating and relating life.

http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/07/10/mans-three-dates-a-day-plan-pays-off-in-marriage/?icid=main|htmlws-main|dl3|link3|http%3A%2F%2Fwww.lemondrop.com%2F2009%2F07%2F10%2Fmans-three-dates-a-day-plan-pays-off-in-marriage%2F

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