Are you ready to pack up and move on?
You’ve broken up with your significant other, but he just can’t take a hint. You’ve tried letters, phone calls, text messages, in-person arguments, telling his friends to get him to leave you alone and emails too. So why is this guy being so annoying, and why won’t he leave you alone? More importantly, how do you finally get him to comprehend that the relationship is over so you two can move on?
Tip One: In a relationship, do you two constantly break up to make up? He breaks up with you. You break up with him. But one of you goes running back to the other a few days later. The only way to stop this seesaw relationship is to stop making idle threats. Instead of breaking up every single time you two don’t see eye to eye, try walking away and giving each other some space. Think about whether you truly don’t want to be with this person for good or for the moment. He may be persistent about getting back with you because you keep taking him back. This time let him know you’re serious if you really are serious.
Tip Two: Have you broken up with him using cowardly tactics like email, text messaging or letters? Although this type of break-up process is great for you because you don’t have to deal with the arguing, his excuses or his infectious way of making you want to melt and not break up, it’s still not really fair to him that you won’t have a face-to-face conversation with him. Never break up without hearing the other person’s side. Blocking emails, deleting him from your social networking friends list and changing your phone number may stop him from contacting you temporarily, but what happens if you two get back together? Hear him out. If the U.S. justice system can have a plaintiff and a defendant, then why can’t you hear his side of the story too? If you don’t like what he says, make it very clear that this is the end of the road for your relationship.
Tip Three: The unfair part about break-ups is that they’re not always mutual. Just because you no longer want to see him doesn’t mean he no longer wants to see you. Remember a time when you were in his same predicament, and you sincerely didn’t think the relationship should be over or didn’t know what you did wrong. Be sensitive to his feelings. Understand that it may take him some time to get over you, and don’t be mean-spirited about it. Give him a little while to let it finally sink in that you two are through.
Tip Four: Do not tolerate any physical or mental abuse. If the reason you two broke up is more intense circumstances, and he’s resorted to stalking or being abusive, get a restraining order immediately. Contact the police if he goes from begging or trying to be persuasive to stalking—there’s a huge difference. This is when changing phone numbers, addresses and jobs may come into play. If you feel like counseling may be in order to get rid of this guy, suggest this. If you two can talk to a third party who can convince him (and you) that it’s unhealthy to be in a relationship together, he may finally see that this relationship is over.
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