Accepting a daddy's girl, the relationship between a daughter and father

My grandfather and I have been tight since the day I started breathing.

Father's Day is coming, and daddies' girls everywhere are brainstorming on what to get the fathers, godfathers, grandfathers and any other male relative in their lives. But for someone dating a daddy's girl, every day may seem like Father's Day. Unlike mommas' boys, society views daddies' girls as positive. But it sure can be rough on the guy dating the daddy's girl. Here are a few tips to avoid trying to compete and keep the triangle relationship peaceful.

Tip One: Don't think you're not good enough for her after meeting her father. If your significant other has introduced you to her father and she's a daddy's girl, she clearly thinks you're good enough. She's not going to introduce just anyone to a man who raised her. There's no need to grow insecure in the relationship. As for the father, he'll probably never think anybody is good enough for his daughter, but since he loves his child, he'll make an exception as long as you're worth your weight. Be prepared to be grilled about your intentions with his daughter and don't be standoffish when you initially meet him. His whole goal is to make sure she's happy and you're going to make her life that much better. It's personal, but her father comes from a good place.

Tip Two: Don't try to compete with him by talking about what you can do that he can't. Keep in mind that the male figure in her life has been there long before you. If you two break up, he'll be around after you as well. To try to one-up a guy who was there to raise her is counterproductive to making the relationship stronger. She knows you play a different role in her life. The father does, too. There's no point in obsessing over it.

Tip Three: If you can't get along with her father for whatever reason, it is okay to tell her why. However, be careful with the way you voice your opinion. Insulting her father or any other male role model in her life will put her on the defense immediately. Instead of stating why he sucks, try explaining an issue that happened that you didn't care for. Let her listen to your interpretation of the situation and reach her own conclusion. If she really likes (or loves) you, she'll be willing to have a one-on-one with her father to clear the air. Let her talk to him first. Then try talking in a group. But whatever you do, don't threaten her father. If you've seen all of those movies about the father cleaning his shotgun while he meets the new guy in her life, you should know the father has taught her to clean shotguns, too. Don't be naive enough to think she won't protect her father from harm if you're stupid enough to try it.

Tip Four: Never ask a daddy's girl to give up spending time with her father, grandfather, godfather or even male role models in her life who she grew up around. The bond between a woman and her father, assuming he's a good father, is as tight as you and the fellas watching the game with food and lots of yelling. It's one of those relationships she enjoys having and will want time to hang out with him. Of course this doesn't excuse her from canceling plans with you. But if she wants to be around her father, be supportive of that.

Tip Five: Try to find out just what keeps their bond tight. There are things a daddy's girl looks for in a guy from examples she grew up with. Whether her father was a great cook, a fixer upper, a mechanic, a businessman or a stay-at-home father, she will be internally comparing you to him. Again, it's not a competition. If you can't do what her father does and have no interest in learning, that's okay. She picked you because she likes you. But if you can do any of the things she's accustomed to while growing up, that boosts your potential sky high.

Tip Six: Reach out to her father. A woman can breathe a sigh of relief knowing her significant other and her father can get along. If they turn into friends, even better. If the father likes you and she likes you, assuming she's not one of those women who purposely dates guys her father hates just to rebel against the norm, then that relationship between the three of you will be precious. And if a friendship doesn't build, still be cordial. Invite him to her birthday parties, graduation celebrations or any other family-oriented event where you know she'll want him to be included in. If you also have a positive male role model in your life, such as a father, grandfather, uncle, etc., plan for the four (or six if you can include your father and her father's significant others), try to get them involved, too. All six of you should attend Real Men Cook in Chicago. Go to a place where fathers are all over the place and appreciated.

Additional Tip: If he's cleaning his gun while he's talking to you, chances are he means business and will put his life on the line to make sure his daughter is taken care of. But you can make that situation way less intimidating by saying the following: "If somebody ever thought about hurting her, I'd be doing the same thing you're doing. As a man, I feel the way you do about protecting someone I'm in a relationship with."

Note: The middle photo is with me and my father. The bottom photo is with me and my godfather.