Dating in your 40s and the power shift

Power Shift: Rescue Dating For Women

Many women who were beautiful in their teen years and early 20s are dumbfounded when they approach 40 and find they no longer have the same power over men as they had when they were 25. These women will heartlessly dismiss a guy for what they perceive as "un-chivalrous" behavior when he no longer jumps through hoops to date her. The power balance shifts in the 40s to one of equality, and it is a game-changing realization for many women in this age group.

When men approach their late 30s they are realizing their own power for the first time. They are becoming more financially stable, more ruggedly handsome and are walking with the confidence and wisdom resulting from age—and when a 40-year-old woman acts out in fits of entitlement, she may find that he has a line of other, quite frankly, younger, women readily waiting to fill her shoes. 40 something men are finding themselves with options for the first time and will easily dismiss a woman unless she realizes that she is no longer the only prize. He is now a prize too—and 40 year-old women better start jumping through a few hoops of their own if they want to catch a really great guy and keep him.

While 40-year-old men are out exploring all their new options, the 40-something woman is left wondering why things have changed. What happened to her power? Not surprisingly, they may begin to feel resentful and desperate with each passing birthday. But a truly complete woman is one who understands that masculine and feminine energies are two parts of a whole, and one is not superior to the other, rather the combination of the two are what create totality. 30 and 40 year old women need to learn flexibility in order to navigate the Power Shift successfully and realize that men do want women who are intelligent, grounded and beautiful, but they want to feel adored and appreciated by women too, in the same way they made women feel in their 20s.

It doesn’t get any easier. Think about the geeky guy in college who never could get a girl, and now at 70, is fought over on the dance floor at the senior centers, and competed for with casseroles. If a man retains his looks, health, and God willing, a full head of hair, he will have to beat the women off with a stick. By the time women reach 50, they understand that the playing field is level, but women in their mid-30s and 40s are not clued in yet. They still think they have the upper hand and they are having a hard time adjusting to the shift in power.

30 and 40 year old women should not be blamed for their erroneous expectations. After all, since they were little girls, and bat their eyelashes in party dresses, men would fall at their feet. If they were pretty teenagers, they could do virtually anything, go anywhere and get anything they wanted. They were drunk with power. Men were their subjects and they were the idolized princesses. It worked in their favor then, so they are simply repeating behavior that was reinforced in their youth. No one told them the dating game changed. However, when the power shifts to one of equality, and the playing field levels out, women have to work to catch men the way guys have always had to work to catch women in the past.

Through case studies as an exclusive matchmaker with Perfect Search, Melinda Maximova identifies a phenomenon that is undermining the success of many relationships. She calls this dynamic, Power Shift. Through the eyes of a matchmaker she helps women avoid several dating pitfalls and relationship syndromes and address questions of controversial topics about the sexes.

Whether you are:

Dating a divorced man
Already married
Single and searching for Mr. Right
An urban cougar
Single mom

You will most likely be navigating the Power Shift.

A dating authority and coach, Melinda Maximova knows what it takes for intelligent, grounded and impressive women to find and keep the man who will love and respect them the way they deserve. She helps women determine who is worth fighting for and how to keep him. She has helped thousands of successful men navigate the dating scene. Now, she will help millions of women negotiate the obstacles they are encountering in their love lives to in order to find the man of their dreams. She will address topics of: