Creative Pain Relief For Couples

Intimacy may be just what you need
to relieve your headache.

     I have long suspected this was true, but hadn't seen any research to back up my belief - until now. According to sex researcher, educator and counselor Beverly Whipple, sex may actually be an effective pain reliever.  

     According to research studies for her book The Science of Orgasm (The Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006), varying levels of stimulation in women, up to and including orgasm, result in significantly elevated pain thresholds, up to 108%. The research also showed that there was no change in touch thresholds (subjects didn't just become numb to touch), but rather the stimulation acted as an analgesic (a pain reliever, as opposed to an anesthetic).

     As this news gains popularity, I can see men everywhere attempting to use these results as a rebuttal to the perrenial "headache" argument from their partners (not that it hasn't been tried). I am cautioning these men: Don't ruin such a fantastic opportunity. 

     Consider this: Our bodies all seem to come equipped with nearly all of the things we need for perfect comfort; chemical, psychological, physical, whatever. We've become accustomed to treating ourselves pharmacologically for our simple aches and pains, rather than learning how we can relieve our pain ourselves. It seems so much easier to take a few pills than to work it out - at least it used to be. Now we can have some fun while we seek relief!

     I encourage all of you to use this knowledge to offer you and your partner an opportunity (or an excuse, if you need it) to explore alternatives together. Help each other reach the type of calm stimulation that can truly elevate your pain thresholds, while increasing intimacy and familiarity with each other. Rather than taking a few pills and laying down alone, spend 30 minutes together, unmedicated in low light, with soft sounds or music, simply exploring which caresses, kisses, or nips tend to chase the pain away most effectively.

     Not only can this practice teach us different ways to eradicate pain, stress, and exhaustion, it gives us all another chance to use intimacy to enhance our day to day lives.

     Guys, consider this: Knowing just where to touch, and how much, to help relieve that headache, backache - whatever - adds immeasurably to your partner's level of comfort with you, and how you use your bodies together. It can also lead to more, but certainly doesn't have to (and that, by the way, should not be your goal).

     Consider it another tool in your relationship toolbox that can lead to more playful intimacy as you grow together. Learn how best to use it for both of you.