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Us examiners have been asked to write specific tip-like 101 columns. I don't have dating or relationship tips, as we all know since my dating life is a chronic hot mess, but I do know fun. So once a week, I will dissect Pittsburgh neighborhoods: share little places one might not be familiar with, and offer ideas as to where the dating fun resides. Let's start with my neighborhood-neighbor, Bloomfield.
Bloomfield (AKA "Pittsburgh's Little Italy") is growing on me, I admit. The constant Liberty Avenue traffic used to deter me, but I've been frequenting some restaurants and nightspots and am now an outright Bloomfield fan. I wish I could give side street directions, to keep everyone out of the inevitable traffic jam on Liberty, but I can't. It's a mess of one way, this way, not that way, now you're suddenly in a hospital parking lot, kind of maze. Don't forget to take your cell phone because you'll need it to text that you'll be ten minutes late because you can't find a parking spot. Other than that, Bloomfield is big fun.
Restaurants:
Tessaro's: 4601 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-6809
Wood grilled everything, even veggies for us non-meat mouths. It gets super cramped, so I suggest going early or late.
The Pleasure Bar: 4729 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-9603
Sounds like nipple tassels should be involved, but disappointingly - they won't be. At least not during dinner; what you do after is your business. It's a restaurant, formerly called Mariani's, gene spliced with the name of the attached bar. Seafood stuffed shells - I'll leave it at that. Go now.
Thai Cousine: 4627 Liberty Ave. (412) 688-9661
Thai Gourmet: 4504 Liberty Ave. (412) 681-4373
The two Bloomfield Thai restaurants. Everyone has a favorite; I do, but I've gotten in so many ridiculous arguments over this, I refuse to say. Try them and decide for yourself.
Tram's Kitchen: 4050 Penn Ave. (412) 682-2688
If you like Vietnamese food, this place is fantastic and low key.
Bars/Music Spots:
Howlers: 4509 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-0320
I honestly adore this place. One side is live music, but if you want to converse - there's another side to sit, smoke, drink, and talk. Genius. They do lose one point for a computerized juke box sans Lucero. I also have to point out the lovely bartender, whose name I don't know; she is the most polite human on the planet - seriously. Tip her.
Bloomfield Bridge Tavern: 4412 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-8611
Lots of bands and Polish food. Warning: non smoking.
Nico's Recovery Room: 178 Pearl St.?(412) 681-9562
Saturday night karaoke and they're serious. One guy sings White Lion's "When the Children Cry" and I get misty. He feels the children's pain and releases it in song.
Pollock's Cafe: 4602 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-1460
Not for the faint of heart. I've seen an elderly man drinking, smoking unfiltered Pall Malls, and toting his portable oxygen machine. There is also another delightful older man who sits at the bar and converses with himself all evening. Snazzy dresser: suede elbow patches on his cardigan. We have an informal bet going as to what his name is; I think it's Gus. Let me know if you find out.
Brillobox: 4104 Penn Ave. (412) 621-4900
Oh boy. I only mention this place because if you would want to go here, then I politely ask that you never go to the four places I mentioned before it - because I go to those places. (At least Howlers; leave me Howlers.) I have such an instant razor blade on my spinal cord reaction to boys in skinny jeans who wear those sloppy, knitted, woolen hats - in July. If you are that guy, Brillobox is your Narnia and girls who look like Jem await inside with the rest of her Holograms. I bet Red Bull flows like a river and Modest Mouse is the door guy. Enjoy.
Why Not Try It?:
Crazy Mocha: 4525 Liberty Ave. (412) 681-5225
Do people do coffee shop dates? If so, their espresso has a 20 second pour, which is stellar. I am a coffee snob and note these things. Hats off to you, Crazy Mocha-ians!
Dreaming Ant:inside Crazy Mocha. It's a video store for those of us who don't want Will Smith in any movie and also love documentaries. Maybe you want to take your coffee shop date back to your place to watch some low budget "I'm more indie than you" indie movie - this is your place to get it.
Box Heart Gallery: 4523 Liberty Ave. (412) 687-8858
Generally "contemporary art gallery" sounds like a lot of pretension, but this place is for those of us who balk at clove cigarettes used as props - or used at all actually.
Merante Gifts: 4723 Liberty Ave. (412) 682-3370
They offer old school Italian cooking lessons and I think that with the right person, that could be hysterical.
Next week - Shadyside.
Comments
You should do PR for the bartender at Howlers. That is how much you love her and her politeness.
My vote is for Thai Cousine. It's awesome.
You have your work cut out for you. There are lots of small neighborhoods and crazy little hole-in-the-wall bars. Too bad I am too far away or I'd be your bar hopping pal. Howler's is definitely fun and must concur with the extremely polite bartender.
Awesome date ideas! Next time I am in Pittsburgh I will have to check them out! tinyurl.com/psdatingex
The way you hate Brillobox makes me want to stare at you in a public, smoky venue for an uncomfortably prolonged period of time. If you unknowingly sneer when you pass it, I will ask you to marry me right now.
Sorry, had to add my tag. I think I vote for Thai Cuisine? Which one has the spicy seafood soup?
What happened to those articles that made me laugh out loud?
They'll be back. These 101 articles have been assigned - once a week.
So, if my feeble brain can read between the lines, some Superior/Editor(an obvious victom of poor toilet training as a child) has decreed that instead of writing what people want to read, you have to write what they are getting payback or royalties to tell the examiners to write. I read your articles because of your deranged humor, not for something I can google. I hope these assfungus bacteria of human beings know they are pushing people away from the website.
AHHH! While well done, there are too many 101 articles. I've counted four in the "Articles from other Examiners" box alone. Did I miss something? If so, I'm glad I did because I refuse to write these, but unlike you I do this for fun/therapy as opposed to making a living or promoting other work. Good luck with this.
Too bad I don't live in Pittsburg...I'd hit up most of these places, they sound great. JFYI I'm not a big fan of writing the 101's either but...
hey, thanks for the article =) I don't get to go to Bloomfield much but I love the area. Do you mind if I cite this article in one of mine? I've written a couple articles about Box Heart Gallery and, if you don't mind, I'd like to link this one to a couple of mine. (my email is pianogirl024@gmail.com)
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