I recently came victim to and joined the cult of internet dating.
I don't know what's more interesting - the messages or the profiles.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't a bitter post saying "internet dating is sooo lame and every guy is a douche," I have actually made some really good friends through it, and realized I'm not even using it to look for a boyfriend because I'm content whether I have one or not.
That being said, I've learned that it is absolutely integral to have an original, catchy profile. Once I created mine (which I must admit is the greatest profile on all of the interwebs) I did a little research and looked at other women's profiles who were in the same age bracket as me.
After about 15 minutes of scoping out the competition, I realized my head was going to implode if I read "I love to laugh and have fun" or "I don't do drama, so if you love the drama then please stay off my page" one more time.
Really, ladies? After reading some of your profiles, it's hard to even call you ladies. Girls is better fit. I understand that I'm in my early 20's and was looking at profiles of girls in the same age range, but when you're 23 and you list "pink" and "texting" under your interests, how is a guy supposed to take you seriously as someone who "doesn't do drama" or is "a grown and sophisticated woman" as many of you made sure to emphasize? I wouldn't.
And boys. Boys, boys, boys... this is internet dating, not a "who can come up with the most chach'ed-out shirtless bathroom mirror photo" contest. Really, it's not. And we know you're not all illiterate, so can you please write something in your profile other than "I work a lot and go out with my friends sometimes, I don't feel like writing much here so if you want to get to know me just send me a message."
No. WRITE SOMETHING. Give us something to ask you about in your messages.
That brings me to my next point.
Messaging someone on an internet dating site.
After being on these sites for awhile, I find it very easy to tell the guys who actually message me AFTER they've read my profile, and the guys who see a decent picture of a girl within their acceptable age range and send a message saying "hi how are you do you want to talk and get to know each other," or better yet, a copy and pasted gem like this:
Subject: No Lameosity ! !
Hi>>> just check out my profile and see wassup about me , never been married by choice, no kids, have a nice house & shop- all paid for, have a awsome garden, have many muscle cars, collect mustangs, drag racer & team owner, build race cars & restomods, have a shop cat named snoopy, can cook, work my ass off, anything else and you,re geting a phone number to talk about it! now about you? Its not braggin if you can back it up rite ? My profile says hang out & that meens freinds first!
With the exception of several grammar flaws, too much information in an introductory message, and obviously no attempt at reading my profile, he sounds like he could be a decent person. Pretty cocky, but decent. Still, not what I'm into.
Three days later, I received the exact. same. message.
A week later, I received the exact. same. message.
This is when I called him out and told him he is spamming people by sending the same message to every girl between 18 and 45 and that he should at least read our profiles before messaging us, find out if we are what he's looking for (even though we're girls so I'm sure we're all what he's looking for), and send a message based on some of our common interests or something he liked about our profile. Originality never killed anyone.
Maybe I should just be a dating website troll that anonymously reads messages and gives people grades on whether or not their messages are worthy. Actually, I like that idea. eHarmony, are you hiring?
Anyway, this was his response:
You need to sign up 4 dead beat dateing ,Its where all the guys have to b completely disfuntional & worthless to get on! Now you can see just what you will end up with from the start! this saves time! The girls pay of course, the guys r broke! No job OK , no licence OK , kids in unknown places OK , warrants OK no car OK, x-s wanting support OK! see what I meen ?? this is a hit & the site 4 you!
Everyone see what I "meen?" Don't make a fool out of yourself. We learned the first steps of internet dating in grade school. Reading and writing. You don't even need the 'rithmetic.
What are your internet dating pet peeves?
Comments
Geez, with the ability to take constructive criticism in such a positive and receptive manner, I can't BELIEVE he doesn't have a girlfriend!
...
That, and "have a awsome garden," really made me wanna punch him. Lucky for him, I don't punch things. Or know him.
Btw, you should TOTALLY be a dating site troll! They might not pay you for it, but I bet some of the users might (since you'll be helping them screen).
Kristan - I'm sure he didn't mind being denied by me, he has to have hoards of women all over him! I bet he messages hundreds a day and there has to be ONE that would admire his garden.
And really, I want to make another profile and dedicate it to telling people why their profiles/messages are not doing them any favors.
I HATE HATE HATE the shirtless bathroom photo.
1) Clearly, you are cocky. And I quite frankly like cocky guys, but it can't be tattooed on your forehead.
2) It is more likely for a 20 something year old guy to have the body of an Abercrombie model than a female. When I see these pics, I assume the guys want a stick figure girl, or a one night stand and leave em alone.
As for my pet peeves, they include:
-the beer bellied guy who specifically looks for said stick figure
-super-dad (you know who you are). Glad you love your kid, is there room for me?
-The Gym-addict
-The guy who doesn't like "party girls" but every picture of him is at a party or bar.
Oh yes, the copy & paste message. What a way to make a girl feel special!
Which brings me to my pet peeve: "I'm looking for that 'special lady' to cook and clean for. I'll treat her like a queen...yadda yadda." Seeing a guy write "special" anything makes me want to puke.
Kim - you are so right with all of those. It seems so many of them are either completely chach'ed-out or have completely let themselves go and expect their dream girl to land in their lap.
Pecosa - So true! I think they assume if they write "cook" and "clean" at least once in their profile, they're in like flint.
You got it exactly right! Really, pink is a color, not an interest. Texting...not a color nor an interest. It's an activity. And if it's your favorite, how to you maintain normal conversations since you are texting all the time? I'm sure all these girls probably have real interests, so, like you, I don't understand why they don't put them up there. And I agree that a profile is there so we have something to talk about at first! But, when people do take the time to be serious about it, it can have amazing results. Internet dating has done wonders for a lot of my family members and friends, many of whom are married now to someone they met online. ( http://www.singlewochildren.com/ )
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