Midlife can be described numerically: Approximately age 41 for women and 39 for men. That is when, statistically, American adults have done half of what they are going to do with their lives. The second half looms with uncertainties and possibilities. Then it is time to look at psychological midlife!
For many, this is a transitional crisis period. For example, those who are enamored with pop magazine and Hollywood images may believe that women over 40 are over the hill and should step aside to make room for Miley Cyrus and Beyonce. Or it becomes a race to the best plastic surgeon's office to look like she is not her age. Why? American culture worships youthful beauty--now more than ever, it seems. One woman was heard to say, "Women over 40 ought to be shot!" This woman, who was an alcoholic by then, shot herself in the heart when she was 45.
The male midlife crisis is a thing unto itself: It can be a time of re-valuing everything. One author used the analogy of throwing a deck of cards in the air and re-sorting his priorities. This can involve getting a divorce, a Porsche, and a gold chain necklace to attract those cute young things who will assist in his denial about being middle-aged.
Pessimistic preoccupation with self is what makes normal midlife transition into a crisis. It may sound like this: "OMG--poor me! My life is half over!" Contrast this with an optimistic, altruistic view that says: "How can I make the second half of my life better for myself and others?" There is a little poem that says it well:
"Let something I have said or done remain when I have traveled on,
To prove the person I tried to be and make others glad they walked with me."
Midlife transition does not have to be a crisis. It is a crisis only if one resists reality, the big R, or, in the words of Eckhart Tolle, the "isness" of life.
Here is an intriguing local web site for those who would like to discuss their midlife journey with a qualified professional: www.thriveseattlecounseling.com.
Comments
Oh my this is a loaded topic if I ever saw one! There are passionate people on both sides. Some people like me maintain 40 is the new 30 and that you don't have to adopt a mature and dignified asexual G rated social life just because you're done with your 30s. Some maintain 40 is still 40 and that it's time to pass the torch of see-and-be-seen to the 20 somethings and 30 somethings. But Hugh Jackman and Demi Moore prove that you don't have to become an average Joe or a plain Jane in your 40s. If you take care of yourself via plenty of sleep and healthy eating and regular exercise and places and activities outside work and home you can bring the sexy on the town and on the beach like a 30 something and lure a few 30 somethings to ask you where you got your clothes!
Hey, thanx for the thoughts. I love the idea that age is a state of mind and body--not just a number. That's why some 40 year-olds look 60 and some 60 year-olds look 40!
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!