Manny rejects Dodgers $25 million offer as Scott Boras puts on a clinic

 AP Photo / Carlos Delgadol

First, a quick rant.  Why do people always refer to athletes by either their maximum potential or their one strength?  For instance, when we signed J.D. Drew he was referred to as a five-tool player, even though the only tool he truly excels at is fielding his position.  Meanwhile, Adam Dunn is referred to as a “slugger,” while his career batting average is only .247.

From now on I am going to refer to Manny by his deficiencies, not his attributes.  He earned this honor when he quit on the Sox before going full tilt with the Dodgers.  From now on, Manny is “defensive liability Manny Ramirez.”  And with that, I can now begin.

Free agent defensive liability Manny Ramirez and his uber-agent, the evil Scott Boras, have rejected the Dodgers one-year offer for $25 million.  I wish I were in position to turn down ridiculously lavish contract offers.  This marks the second time the Ramirez camp has declined an offer from the Dodgers and the zeroith (I am well aware that this is not a word) time they have received an offer from another team.

The Dodgers first offered Manny a two-year, $45 million deal, which Boras did not respond to because he thought it was embarrassingly low.  Then the Dodgers offered Manny salary arbitration, which he declined.  Then the Dodgers offered this one-year, $25 million contact.

After this latest offer was declined, Dodgers GM Ned Colletti told ESPN.com, “We still have interest in signing Manny.”  Wow, Ned, you truly are a shrewd negotiator.  Mr. Colletti probably plays poker with his cards face up.  He has now made two contact offers while no one else has shown anything more than the slightest interest in actually signing Manny.

On the flip side, agent Scott Boras is putting on a seminar on how to manipulate management and artificially inflate your clients worth.  This is Scott Boras’s real genius: getting teams to bid against themselves.  If you want to know why baseball salaries are so high, look no further than Scott Boras and Ned Colletti.

Boras is essentially running an advanced eBay scam.  In that scam, a seller will list a product for sale.  Then, once they have at least one bid, their friends place fake offers to drive up the price.  The unwitting buyer is then left with a choice to pay more, or stop bidding.  If they stop bidding, then the seller simply removes the product and tries the scam with a different item.

This is what Boras does, except he is even better at it.  Boras gets potential buyers to increase their bids without ever showing them another offer.  He simply tells teams that other offers are out there.  Scott Boras, I don’t like you, but I respect you.  If I ever go broke and need to sell all of my belongings, I want Scott Boras to be the auctioneer.
 

 Let's start the bidding at one billion dollars.  Do I hear one billion, one billion?  Yes, to the invisible man in the corner.  Now two billion, two billion, do I have two billion?