Networking Nuances

Let me say right away that for many years, despite having a reputation as being a stellar networker, the fact of the matter is, I avoided it.

 

I didn’t care for networking, particularly with other PR people. My view was, here are my competitors, seeking my ideas, my contacts, etc., so that they can get the coverage I want for my clients (as a result, I typically attended only those PR events that featured media, as media relations is my niche and so I was more than happy to pitch to and hobnob with members of the Fourth Estate).

 

And there’s some truth in that. As my college journalism professor told me, “Don’t give away your ideas.” The key, I learned, was to look like I was networking, giving out valuable, insightful information, when really I was just filling the air with noise until it was my audience’s turn to speak, and then I’d cue in on anything they said that I could really use.

 

Yes, networking can be quite…mercenary. I’ve since learned, however, that there are ways to share information and ideas for everyone’s mutual benefit. And that’s true...

 

...though only to a certain point. I’m reminded of something I read in Lawrence Voegele's Professional Method of Winner Selection…which is not a spin on Dale Carniege’s How to Make Friends and Influence People, but is actually a 1970s treatise on how to pick the ponies. Great book. Anyway, Voegele tells a story of a man who kept hounding a successful handicapper for tips. The handicapper would give them to him and the bettor was surprised to find that the tips didn’t pan out—the horses were “up the track.”  When confronted on this, the answer was simple. Only about five percent, if that many, who come to the track and bet make money. So if you actually think you have something good, you’re not going to give it away, as the more people who bet your horse, the shorter your odds, the less your return at the ticket window. 

 

Translation in the PR world? If you’ve got something good, don’t give it away. As I say, pretty simple philosophy. But I digress.

 

The Daily Record article looks at 10 “easy-to-use tips to make you a more effective networker.” Specifically.

 

I like this one. It’s a good idea. As the columnist, Jeff Goldberg notes, you don’t want to start shaking hands with people when you’ve got a big piece of post-lunch broccoli stuck between your teeth…though when you come out of the bathroom, check your shoes…trailing three feet of toilet paper isn’t a way to impress either.

 

This is true, if the reason you’re at this networking session is to network. If you’re there for the free food, take your time. Or just line your pockets with tinfoil, grab what you want for later so you have more time for networking (I’m obviously joking…maybe).

 

In theory, this sounds like a good idea. Why bother networking with people you already know and have thoroughly strip-mined for ideas and info? However, I don’t think I’ve ever had a pleasant feeling/experience, suddenly confronted by some stranger with an outstretched hand, plastered-on grin, shiny plastic “MY NAME IS WHATEVER" tag pinned on his/her jacket, and ready patter of “Hi there, I’m a Name You’ve Already Forgotten and let me tell you all about what I do, what I want, and how you can help me.” No, go away, I’m enjoying these fresh shrimp. No, the better way to go is to connect with people you do know and form a little band, three is a good number, but two will do in a pinch, yourself and your friend. Then slowly move about as you converse and “Velcro” on a new person every so often. That way you have your friend as an ally who may be helpful in deflecting anybody whose compass doesn’t point north.

 

This is a spin on a useful PR tactic when dealing with media…can you make your pitch to the press person in the length of time you might normally spend in an elevator, barring unforeseen mechnical failure. Again, it’s a good idea…in theory. The key is not to come across as too practiced or “too much like I’m reading from a script” like you get when telecommunications droids call you at 11:48 p.m.. with a special invitation to refinance your mortgage. Know your stuff, but don’t memorize. Like Seinfeld’s Kramer said about master improv performer Jackie Gleason, “He never rehearsed. He wanted it to be natural, fresh.”

 

This makes sense. Say for example I’m attending a PRSA conference and there’s a bunch of media panelists there. If my field is real estate, chances are I shouldn’t be linebacker-sack-shouldering PR folks outta my way to get to the health editor…unless of course there’s some reason (I want to do a story about my client's new hypoallegenic building designs).

 

As I say, for many years, I fostered the Genghis Kahn approach to networking, but have found that if you can mentor, play to that bit of Obi-Wan Kenobi in yourself and help a fellow PR person, you might get some good info/contacts in return.

 

This is particularly true with media. They don’t want to waste time chitchatting about your company’s mission statement. So if you have a specific project, product, service, something you want coverage about, state your case.

 

Also a good one. I’m reminded of a bit of advice from “Dear Abby.” If you want to impress people, shutup. Let THEM do the talking. If you’re blathering on for five minutes nonstop about yourself, you’re going to lose people. The best way to get someone to like you is let that person blather on for five minutes about THEMselves. And besides, they might be telling you something you can use for your clients’ benefit!

 

I’m a bit lukewarm on this. Seems a wise strategm, but it feels like a relationship that’s going too fast if, after five minutes of chit chat and a comment about the weather you’re already scheduling a date, if you get my drift. What might be better is, get their business card, phone number, email and say, “This has been very interesting. I’d like to talk to you more at a later date as I think we could be in a position to help each other. Why don’t I send you an email or give you a call in a few days and set something up?” This way you don’t have the person uncomfortably trying to balance their pasta salad while activating their Iphone to check their calendar and then lying to you how they're booked til 2014.

 

Hey, this is true whether you’re networking or not. Life’s too short. If you don’t set aside some time for a little joy, well, you might as well become a Cubs fan! (Or, of late, an Orioles fan…which I am…but I’m still smiling!)