In honor of that beautiful bird that will grace our Thanksgiving table today, it seemed like a good time to acknowledge those who had given their all to provide us with topics for spirited conversation as we sit down to give thanks for our blessings. So here are a few well deserved awards for your dining pleasure.
The 2009 Gobbler Awards
- The Dallas Cowboys – sigh.
- Nancy Pelosi for elevating air travel to a Paris Hilton fashion statement.
- Kay Bailey Hutchinson for her frail attempt to convince us she’s doing us a favor by keeping her day job while running for Governor of Texas.
- Congressional Republicans for their inability to come up with anything closely resembling an alternative to the health care bill.
- America’s bankers for taking bailout money and using it to buy other banks instead of fixing the problem. Us for letting them.
- America’s bankers (again) for rushing to take advantage of the American people with credit card changes in advance of new regulations and then openly bragging about it. Us (again) for letting them.
- The President for bailing out the auto companies, banks, Big Pharma and not us.
- The President (again) for compromising his vision and listening to advisors who are just positioning themselves for their next job.
- The Fort Worth Transportation Authority (The “T”) for continuing with the development of its regional “train to nowhere” project. Us for letting them.
- The Internet crowd that forwards stuff without ever reading it and, even worse, without checking its validity.
- Anybody who throws around the expression “free market” and hasn’t read Adam Smith.
- Local school boards who rezone using the worn-out “diversity” ploy instead of maintaining the neighborhood integrity those parents want.
- The UIL for its investigation of “performance enhancing drugs” in athletes and only finding four cases in all of Texas. They must have done their research in Big Bend National Park.
- The UT Longhorns for its 2009 football schedule. When you booked Louisiana Monroe, UTEP, Central Florida, and Wyoming in the same year did you really think they were going be contenders for the national championship?
- Lawmakers who don’t have the courage to outlaw cell phones (and texting) while driving. Most towns and cities could eliminate their budget deficits with the fines.
- Cities who continue to use those dumb cameras at intersections.
- Harry Reid for being Harry Reid.
- Joe Biden for his Invisible Man impression. Reminds us of Lyndon Johnson.
- Fox News for its successful move to a supermarket tabloid format. Upcoming segments: “Beck Breaks Baklava Scare” and “Hannity in exclusive interview on Iran’s nuclear threat with the late Billy Mays”.
- A special “Much Ado About Nothing” Award to the Swine Flu pandemic for coming in like a lion and ending up as a rug on the game room floor.
- And finally a Lifetime Achievement Award to Sarah Palin for having a thought and writing a book about it. Now if she could get the book signing tour under control…
Happy Thanksgiving and good conversation to all!
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