Be prepared to help children cope with Michael Jackson's death

Thriller

Michael Jackson was my first crush. The album was Thriller, and I was five.

The song Thriller, and the video, scared me to death. Beat It and Billy Jean were my favorites.

I'm watching the all day MTV tribute, and I never realized how Michael Jackson defined the music and culture of my youth. From that first kindergarten crush, to middle school break dancing, to high school when he commandeered network television to unveil Black and White, Remember the Time, and Keep It in the Closet.

My own kids have grown up with every era of Michael Jackson on their electronic devices. They have always loved Michael, and they are saddened by his unexpected death.

Don't underestimate your child's sensitivity to death. Even if your child doesn't know who Michael Jackson is, the media blitz on the death of a public figure, particularly the unexpected death of someone who was not elderly, can have an impact on a child.

Younger kids may start to worry about their own parents and grandparents. If you notice that they are suddenly concerned about your age or health, take this opportunity to address their anxieties with openness and honesty. If your kids liked Michael Jackson, they may be feeling an honest loss, and it's important not to trivialize their feelings. With older kids, this is an excellent opportunity to explore ideas about how music defines culture and culture influences individuals.

Elvis died almost a year before I was born, and I still associate him with the cultural mourning that lingered throughout my earliest years. It wasn't until the third grade that I pulled out my dad's collection of Elvis records and discovered his music. It was then that I truly felt my grandmother's loss. It was then that I understood that someone magnificent was gone forever, and that he was gone before his time.

It's impossible to anticipate when or how a child will become concerned about death, and what effect those concerns will have on him. Gifted children are especially vulnerable to anxiety about death because they are more sensitive emotionally and contemplate issues on a deeper level than other children in their age group.  As the national dialog focuses on the death of a celebrity, now is a good time to be on alert for childhood anxieties about death and be prepared to help your child or student cope with this inevitable fact of life.