A few years ago, when Scott Eaton was developing his workshop on working with the inner critic, he found himself beset by doubts. An inner voice said to him, "Who are you to be teaching this? What do you know? Others have been doing this for years, what do you have to offer?"
Fortunately, he was able to recognize this as his own inner critic and to apply the methods he wanted to share with others. He asked himself if he was feeling vulnerable. The inevitable answer “yes” allowed him to feel compassion for that part of himself, in place of doubt and criticism. Then he could approach his task with renewed freedom.
Mr. Eaton is the Co-director of the Hakomi Institute of California. He describes Hakomi as means of becoming aware of our inner world and the “deep patterns that run us.” Among other methods, Hakomi borrows the Buddhist practive of mindfulness. The goal is to allow the individual to experience “more light, love and self-acceptance.”
Mr. Eaton was inspired to create this workshop by his work with his psychotherapy clients. He observed the powerful effect of shame to limit the possibility of growth and change. As he explored the issue, he found that much shame is a result of critical “self-talk” generated by the inner critic, which might also be called the “inner abuser.”
He says, “One of the main job descriptions of the critic is to keep you safe. The only way it really knows how to do this is through shaming and criticizing.”
The workshop takes participants through three stages of developing a new relationship with the inner critic- recognition, disengagement and empowerment. The effect of doing this work with the support of a group can be moving and liberating. As the relationship to the critic changes, “all of the tremendous energy and attention it put into protecting can gradually be transformed into supporting.”
This workshop will next be offered in Berkeley on September 18th and 19th.
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Stephen Colgan can be contacted at StephenColganMFT@sbcglobal.net
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Stephen Colgan is also the SF Buddhism Examiner
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