Over the last week the world has been fairly overly saturated with and overly tuned-in to golfing great / legend Tiger Woods and his admission to committing transgressions against God his wife and his family. Tiger Wood's once stellar image that made him enormously rich in terms of commercial appeal, is now slightly tarnished. As most of the world rhetorically asks, "how could a man who appeared to have it all, act so foolishly and risk losing the very people who should mean the most to him, meaning his wife and kids", we all should remember that money, fame and power often corrupts a large percentage of individuals who are willing to trade their morals for a chance to fulfill their hidden fantasies. If you don't believe me ask any Senator or member of Congress.
Now for the rest of us mere mortal men and women who are not financially in a position to have gold diggers find us attractive, we still have to ask, "why do 75 percent of married men cheat on their wives"? And why are a growing number of wives cheating on their husbands? I've done a little research and this article discusses how infidelity can creep into a married couple's life and take root. Cheating is not always about having the money to entice a person to sleep with you, it's about lust and fullfiling fantasies, it's a complicated issue but definitely worth a look at should you currently be "walking the line" of infidelity.
Statistics state that seventy-five percent of all married men in the United States are unfaithful to their wives. Of the men who cheat, statistics state that two-thirds of their wives are unaware of the affairs that their husbands are having. I guess that in today’s society, a good man really is hard to find.
Guess what America? Men aren't alone when it comes to infidelity. Wives are also cheating on their husbands more than ever. Let’s take a look at some of the common causes of cheating, and let’s see how they can be avoided:
LACK OF SEXUAL INTIMACY WITHIN THE MARRIAGE
Per marriage counselors, if you and your spouse have stopped being intimate with each other, or if you have drastically decreased the frequency of your intimacy, then your personal relationship is going to suffer.
Sex is an integral part of a marriage. It is a way to share something with each other that is personal and loving, and the connection that you share during sex creates a deeper connection between the two of you that extends to all areas of your life.
Although it can be difficult for many couples to find the time in their busy schedules, juggling work and family and household chores, it is important to make intimacy a priority, even if that means scheduling time for it. If you are too tired at the end of the day to have sex, get up for an early lovemaking session, or slip away for some private time together on a Saturday afternoon.
Maintain excitement between the two of you by integrating foreplay into your everyday lives. Call your husband at work, and tell him how eager you are to be with him tonight. Leave a naughty note in your wife's car before she leaves for work. Wear lingerie sometimes, rather than just flopping into bed in your sweatpants and t-shirt. Light candles burn incense. Hold hands. Keep the romance alive! When you have been with someone for many years, sometimes you forget that it is the little things that make the biggest difference.
LACK OF EMOTIONAL INTIMACY WITHIN THE MARRIAGE
Married couples develop a silent form of communication between one another, but you can't eliminate verbal communication from a relationship altogether. Couples who co-exist as if they were roommates are at risk for losing the friendship side of their relationship.
Talk to your spouse about your day; make it a dinner-time ritual. After dinner, don't park in front of the television. Find the joy of just sitting together; sharing your thoughts and innermost feelings. Unless you have consistent communication, you will grow further apart, and turn into strangers. You will long for an emotionally intimate relationship, and that is why many married people stray from their mate.
SEXUAL ADDICTION
Sexual addiction is one of the worst afflictions that a married person can possess. Someone with a sexual addiction craves different sexual partners and lots of sex, and it can be as hard an addiction to conquer as drinking or drug use. Sexual addiction can be hard to understand and very hard to forgive because when someone cheats on you, it feels like the ultimate betrayal.
If you or your spouse has a sexual addiction, then you should seek professional help. If you have a partner with sexual addiction who refuses treatment, then you should leave the relationship to avoid the inevitable devastation you would encounter with a sexual addict for a spouse.
MID-LIFE CRISIS AFFAIRS
The severity of a mid-life crisis varies from person to person. Many struggle to come to grips with their own mortality, and they want to make sure that they get the most out of their life experience. Some men buy a fast sports car, some women rush out for plastic surgery, and some men and women stray from their relationships, often looking for a younger sexual partner to add some spice to their life.
If you notice that your partner is struggling to come to terms with aging, then you have to be a comfort to them.
Remind them how much you love them, and be willing to be adventurous together. Instead of dreading aging, embrace and enjoy it together. You might consider traveling together, or getting involved in a new hobby, such as bicycling. If you or your spouse is having a severely hard time with growing older, then seek professional counseling that will help with that phobia.
LIFESTYLE CHANGES
Major shifts in lifestyle can add stress to a marriage. It could be a new job that requires very long hours and has a very stressful set of responsibilities. It could be moving to a new home in a new city or town. It could be the birth of a child, or the death of a family member, or it could be an unforeseen financial disaster.
When our lives drastically change, we have to make adjustments in our marriages to accommodate the changes. Communicate with your spouse; share your concerns with each other. Try to change and deal with change together so that your relationship is actually strengthened by stresses in the long run. If you start leading entirely separate lives, then you are more likely to enter into an affair.
As always Louisianans, the Examiner.Com is interested in what you think. (1) Has Tiger Woods learned his lesson? (2) Do you believe that 75% of married men cheat or have cheated on their wives? And (3) do you believe that married women are more likely to cheat for affection than for money? Inquiring minds want to know.
Until next time Louisianans, Good Day, God Bless and Good Fishing.
Comments
THIS IS VERY NICE. I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS ANYMORE, TG. I AM DIVORCED.
To Nicole: Too bad for him. You appear to be a terrific woman. GB
To Nicole: Too bad for him. You appear to be a terrific woman. GB
Why does ANYONE cheat? For one reason alone: They value cheating more than they value being faithful. When do cheaters stop? When they dont want to cheat anymore. That's regardless of who they are with or when/if/how many times they get caught. Period.
To J: There's mucho truth to what you said. Thanks for your input. GB
Good Job Examiner!
Second time I find a relevant article on the issue of sex addiction on your site. Thank you for speaking out. Many people view sex addiction as some kind of sex perversion, while mild levels of sex addiction could affect completely normal and average individuals, good family man and women.
It is a taboo subject in our society, that nobody talks about, which is kind of ironic, since we are in the 21st century and have learned so much about the world, but have very little understanding of ourselves.
I blog about my own addiction and how it almost ruined my life, and how I am now finding a way out. I am pretty confident that I will be able to be in that 25% of Americans who do not cheat on their wives, and it is the best felling that I've felt in my entire life.
If you want to read my blog google feed the right wolf.
Thanks.
To FeedTheRightWolf: Whoa ! First of all, what a cool name. FeedTheRightWolf is pretty deep in thinking my brotha. :) Now, in regard to the article, thanks for the compliment. I try as a "Progressive" to write about more than just politics. Politics 24 hours a day becomes old. Man, we have to as a society get away from NOT DISCUSSING issues that may seem taboo. Without a healthy dialogue how will people ever realize that sometimes all a person ever needed was someone to listen to "whats on their mind". Check out my other articles that I've written under the heading of "recent articles" and the "all articles" link. I try to write about everything from A to Z. Thanks for reading my work and I hope that you (1) continue to check out what I have to say and (2) forward what you think is interesting to other folks who have a yearning to stimulate their minds. :) GB
I never really got to ask my husband why he cheated because he was murdered on my birthday and father's day in 2008. I felt we had a good relationship we were friends and we communicated very well. There was spice and sexual encounters all the time. I was a really good wife and you couldn't tell me he wasn't a good man until I found out he cheated. That turned my stomach and from that point on until the time of his death I never felt the same, but I still loved I just couldn't trust him anymore no matter how much he begged and pleaded. I do miss what we use to share. So I'm still in the dark on why and I guess I will never know. I did ask but couldn't give me an answer.
To Kelly Williams: Kelly thanks for reading my article and thanks for sharing such a deep and personal tragedy. You know Kelly, sometimes it's just a fantasy and lust thing that make people cheat. I'm quite sure that before your husband was killed, that he wished to God that he had never hurt you the way that he did. If he was a believer in Christ, then his sins are forgiven. It was nice hearing from you. Please keep in touch through my articles. God Bless. GB
We need to have a forum identifying famous cheaters. We can start with David Letterman and Bill Clinton and work our way from there. Suggest we call it "Cheaters of the World"! HO HO HO and Merry XXXMAS.
To Dirt Monger: I get your pun. You ain't right in the mind sir. :) Merry Christmas. Let's keep the Christ in Christmas. GB
IT'S NOT CALLED CHEATING UNTIL YOU GET CAUGHT...CATCH MY DRIFT?
To Ms. Gaddis: I don't agree with you. Cheating is still cheating. A cheater must always live with the guilt of violating a loved one's trust. Unless, the cheater has no conscience. GB
YOUR ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT I BELIEVE MAJORITY OF THE PEOPLE HAS CHEATED OR THOUGHT ABOUT CHEATING. WHY? I DON'T KNOW, FOR VARIOUS REASONS. TO ONE'S THINKING IS LEGITIMATE ENOUGH REASON TO STEP OUTSIDE THE "BOX"; AND FOR OTHERS "FOR THE ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW ANYTHING; WILL NOT HURT THEM." I'M NOT SAYING IT'S RIGHT TO CHEAT BECAUSE IT ISN'T, BUT HOW WILL THAT OTHER PARTNER KNOW IF SHE OR HE IS CHEATING WITHOUT GETTING CAUGHT? AND IF THAT IS THE CASE; WHY WOULD THAT PERSON CHEAT KNOWING RIGHT FROM WRONG AND THE CONSEQUENCES BEHIND IT? WE ARE ONLY HUMAN, WE MAKE MISTAKES EVERY DAY; WHETHER WE KNOW IT OR NOT. CAN A PERSON BE FORGIVEN? OF COURSE, BUT WILL THAT PERSON EVER FORGET? HONESTLY, NO. ONLY IF WE THOUGHT WITH OUR HEARTS INSTEAD OF OUR HORMONES. I BELIEVE WHATEVER GOES ON IN THE WOODS' FAMILY AFFAIRS SHOULD BE KEPT PRIVATE AND AT THEIR OWN CONVIENIENCE WITHOUT THE MEDIA'S ATTENTION OR ANY OUTSIDE INFLUENCES.
OH YEA..IF IM NOT MAKING ANY SENSE OR HAVE F'D UP ON MY SPELLING..PLEASE FORGIVE ME, I GOT OFF AT 6 A.M. & NOW IT'S 10:30 A.M. HADN'T HAD MUCH SLEEP!! :p
To Ms Gaddis: Everyone harbors thoughts of lust and unbridled passion. At least I think most people do. However as we get older we should realize that there is more to life than sexual conquests. There comes a time when a person has to look in the mirror and ask if their life is going in the right direction. Its important to figure out if you're with the right person, if not wait for that right person to come to you. Look, don't beat yourself up for any sin. If you're a Christian, then you have faith that Jesus died for every sin that you can think of. Just strive through prayer to be a better person. Tiger must find his faith and listen to people who really love him. In the end, he'll be alright. Thanks for reading the article and thanks for sounding off. It's all about positive dialogue Ms. Gaddis. Merry Christmas Sista. GB
WHY do people cheat? That is a very good question.Many cheat because they want to see how long they can get away with it Many cheat because they are so addicted to sex that they just dont know how to stop themselves.Many use the excuse that when they get caught that they made a mistake.It is not a mistake because you know what you are doing.One can often be tempted by sex, but you have to stay strong and stay with that person that you love.
I think you folks are beating around the bush. Cheating is about just about one thing,"CONQUEST" to know that you are still attractive and able to conquer the opposite sex's desire. Let's face it we are all subject to it in one form or another. You ladies, why do you dress to the "nines" for an average day at work? Surely it is not to make your female coworkers jealous!
You do it to make yourself feel secure in the fact that you "STILL HAVE IT" that vehicle of attraction whether it is red lipstick, high heels, or sheer pantyhose. The ability to turn heads in a crowd when you saunter by. Let's face it, everyone is guilty of wanting to be desireous of our opposite sex. Thats cheating if your already in a commited relationship for why would you want to attract more suitors if your already taken?
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