TNA Impact Report for January 4 with Hulk Hogan

Time to see if TNA can live up to the hype of their January 4 live show against WWE Monday Night Raw.  They debuted Hogan and had a ton of other surprises, so let's review.

Homicide gets disqualified in the Steel Asylum for hitting everyone with a baton in a match that included Amazing Red, Kiyoshi, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, Suicide, Jay Lethal, and Consequences Creed.

This was absolutely terrible.  Starting off a big show with a mess of a match is never a good idea.  Worse is having that giant cage be painted red so we can barely see inside it.  Worst is having said cage match not even have a finish.  How the hell do you do a disqualification in a cage match?

Post-match Jeff Hardy debuts to hit a Twist of Fate on Homicide, then goes to the back to celebrate with Shannon Moore.

Surprise number 1 is in no way a let down for pure shock value, but is a terrible idea as far as timing.  Wrestling shows do more poorly in hour 1 and Jeff, a huge star, should have been far more heavily featured later in the show.

Kevin Nash cuts a promo putting Hulk Hogan over, saying how excited he is to see his mentor.

Wow, now Hulk mentored Nash who was a WWE champion before he ever came to the same company as Hulk?  How's that work?

ODB defeats Tara to win the Knockouts Title, but Tara takes ODB out and puts a tarantula on her.

This wasn't bad at all, although it was short.  ODB is apparently a face again.

Mick Foley is not being let in the building.  He tries to get in throughout the night.

Comedic Foley really needs to go away.  I want Cactus Jack!

Bobby Lashley and wife Crystal come out.  Crystal says Lashley wants his release because wrestling fans are disgusting.

Well, about time they got to the heel turn with the guy no one liked anyway.  Lashley vs. Angle, if done on the mat, could be good.

The Beautiful People are in a poorly acted segment where they play strip poker.

One of the best acts in the company can surely do more than this, though since the company is called TNA, I can't be shocked at the T and A.  That's still the worst name for a wrestling company ever.

Scott Hall and X-Pac get into the show.

Hall is a bit fat, but Waltman finally looks like an adult. 

Hulk Hogan finally arrives and ends up confronted by Hall and Pac.  They want big parties like the old days, but Hogan says it's time to grow up and do what's right for the business. This draws out Kevin Nash, who says that Hogan has to say the right thing, but Hulk says he promised Dixie Carter. Finally, Eric Bischoff comes out and the full NWO is in effect. Bischoff demands everyone in the company earn their place and he and Hogan are making the matches.

This was solid, but the NWO didn't draw in WWE when they were reasonably fresh there and this went against Bret Hart confronting Shawn Michaels  on Raw, so as solid as it was, we'll see if it was equally effective.

Sting is in the rafters. Ric Flair comes out of AJ Styles locker-room.

Not a surprise to see him there. He's due back for his retirement tour.

Awesome Kong and Hamada  win the Tag Knockouts Title from Taylor Wilde and Sarita.

This might have been the match of the night on either show. Any WWE fan who tuned out Maryse for this got their money's worth.

Val Venis shows up to play cards with the Beautiful People.

Shawn "Val Venis" Morley has always been an under-rated great hand.  Hopefully he sticks around and wrestles.

The Nasty Boyz try to get in for several segments, eventually vandalizing Team 3-D's stuff.

For the feud of has-beens that no one demanded, fat and old vs. fatter and older!

Hernandez and Matt Morgan defeat Raven and Dr. Stevie.

This was incredibly short and just used so that Morgan and Hernandez could look strong against guys with national exposure.

MCMG and Rhino are found hurt backstage.  Who could be doing this?

Ah the old standby mystery attacker.  I've got Diamond Dallas Page in the office pool. You?

The Pope cuts a great promo before being interrupted by Orlando Jones.

Is Jones really important enough to bother bringing back?  This is how WCW got in trouble in the first place- every WWE never was is not worth it.

The Pope defeats Desmond Wolfe with a roll up.

That was good but short.  Hopefully, that will lead to a feud.  Wolfe is an absolute star and made Pope look awesome and the match seem much more than he was.

Eric Biscoff informs AJ Styles that his match with Kurt Angle isn't at the PPV, it's tonight!

They already gave it away on free television, but it's big enough to do here or a Pay Per View regardless.  So long as AJ goes over, this feel suitably important.

Jeff Jarrett cuts a face promo about founding TNA, but Hogan comes out and buries him, saying Dixie Carter saved the company from Jarrett's ineptitude. Jarrett will have no creative control and be just another wrestler.

So, Jarrett will soon ally with Foley against the top heel faction.  Why do I feel like I've seen this movie?

Daniels gets a second of face time before being cut off.

Way to make the guy who headlined the last PPV an afterthought again.

Jeff Hardy and Shannon Moore are thrilled about possibly joining TNA.  They are accosted by fans, one of whom Jeff gives a kiss and a painting to.

Okay then.  Jeff is a top guy for WWE who sells a ton of merchandise.  I can't believe I even have to say this, but, damnit, highlight him!

Samoa Joe defeats Abyss with the choke.

A good match, with Joe looking strong killing a monster.

Beer Money are the next hurt group.

AJ Styles defeats Kurt Angle in a long match, during which Ric Flair watched.  Hulk Hogan then compliments them on a great match.

This was about as good as their last Impact encounter, but went on for quite a long while with nothing but near-falls.  That hurt the substance, but this was still fun.

Backstage, Mick Foley finally gets in and threatens to kill Eric Bischoff.  Hall and Pac jump him, while Bischoff lasts and Hogan eyes down the situation.

Oh no, not the NWO, which we were just told wouldn't happen!

Final Thoughts:  This was too disorganized, with the wrong guys being highlighted to be a roaring success, but even though it felt, like usual, written by someone who can't properly pay attention.  The show was still exciting and unpredictable enough to be fun and the surprises were well worth the viewing.