The Examiner
2008-07-11 07:00:00.0
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Cardinals pitcher Mark Mulder lasted just 16 pitches and three batters against Philadelphia on Wednesday before leaving with shoulder pain in his first start since last September. He’s back on the disabled list now, and if the Cardinals were hoping he could provide a spark to their rotation for the stretch run, they can forget about it. The guy was a stud as part of Billy Beane’s “Big Three”, but now he's just got us thinking about some of the more anti-climactic comeback attempts in sports recently.

1. Ricky Williams: Against Pittsburgh on Nov. 26, 2007, Williams made his not-so-triumphant return to the Dolphins from a yearlong suspension for his fourth violation of the league's substance abuse policy. The Dolphins needed a running back for the rest of the season after Ronnie Brown tore up his knee, and Williams was ready to play nice after jumping through all of Roger Goodell’s hoops to be reinstated. The only problem was his body wasn't ready for it. On his sixth carry of the game, Williams tore his pectoral muscle and missed the rest of the season. This one was very Mulder-like except for the whole substance abuse thing. In fact, Ricky probably has something that could help Mulder with his shoulder pain.

2. Mike Tyson: Admit it. Many people were pumped when Iron Mike decided to fight Kevin McBride on June 11, 2005 in a futile attempt to keep his career alive and repair his battered finances. Unfortunately for you, Tyson didn't even go the distance, instead quitting after six rounds and showing his tender side and citing his lack of passion for the sport.

3. Lawrence Phillips: The No. 6 pick in the 1996 draft was a bust from the start, but it looked like he might reform his career when he joined the San Francisco 49ers prior to the 1999 season. Phillips was coming off leading NFL Europe in rushing, and there was hope that he could put his personal problems aside to become the star he showed he could be at Nebraska. Instead he missed a block on Aeneas Williams allowing Steve Young's fourth concussion in three years, finishing his Hall of Fame career. Phillips' season and NFL career was finished after eight games that season as well. San Francisco’s fans wish he would've jumped straight to the Canadian Football League.

4. Mark Prior: Mulder’s case had to remind Cub fans of Mark Prior, who hasn’t pitched regularly since 2005. His 2007 season involved just one minor league start before he was lost to another surgery. He is on the roster for San Diego these days, but at this point, it's more likely that the former No. 2 overall pick can learn to pitch with his left-hand than it is that he will be a major league pitcher with a shoulder that's been opened up more times than a bathroom door.

5. Magic Johnson: In November 1991, Johnson announced he was HIV positive and retired immediately. It cut short an already Hall of Fame career, but his comeback attempts were less than Hall of Fame. He said he was going to come back, then he didn't. Then he coached the Lakers. Then he did come back. He averaged 14.6 points per game in a few games at the end of the 1996 season as a 36-year old. But even that was better than the two months of his late night talk show “The Magic Hour” that he subjected America to a few years later. He proved the old adage true: “Great players don't retire, they just feign comeback attempts and become TV hosts.”

What we liked: Paula Creamer’s.

One of the only ways to bring recognition to women's golf when it’s not a major championship week is to shoot a ridiculously low score. Well, Paula Creamer shot 60 in the first round of the Jamie Farr Owens Corning Classic to put her in the news. Unfortunately, she may have set the bar too high. Now she'll have to shoot a 59 to steal the weekend headlines.

What we didn't like: A rash of legal charges against fringe athletes.

Former L.A. Rams kicker Tony Zendejas was charged with allegedly drugging and raping a customer at his sports bar. Former Florida basketball player Teddy Dupay was charged with raping an acquaintance in Utah. And Jaguars receiver Matt Jones was charged with cocaine possession. We wouldn't be thinking about these guys in mid-July 2008 if they didn't get into legal trouble, so there's no reason to think about them now. Besides the only reason Matt Jones was cool was the hair, and apparently, he cut it. Lame.

Star of the Day: 11-year-old Miranda Black

The kid who asked Packers' coach Mike McCarthy if Brett Favre was coming back as he took questions from children at the Boys and Girls Club of Green Bay showed the skills of a veteran reporter asking the tough question. While McCarthy was probably expecting softballs from the youngsters, Black hit him with the question fans most want to hear. Now if McCarthy would have only rewarded her chutzpah with something less than a stock answer attempting to dodge the question, it would've been perfect. Welcome to our world, Miranda.

Donkey of the Day: Barry Bonds

His agent, Jeff Borris, said he just needs 10 days of hitting off live pitching to be back and ready to play in the majors. A more amazing feat would be if Borris can convince a team to sign his old, slow client, who would bring horrible public relations and a ton of personal baggage, within that same 10-day span.