Deborah Stone, The Examiner
2008-03-06 08:00:00.0
Current rank: Not ranked

BALTIMORE -

I have some good news and some bad news.

First the bad news: The Maryland Terrapins lost to Clemson on Sunday night.

Now the good news: One student attending the game won a free Lasik eye surgery. We all accept that advertising is inextricably linked to sporting events, but isn’t this going just a little too far?

Time-outs at College Park basketball games have always been injected with some good old capitalism. There’s a “Deal or No Deal” game sponsored by a local pizza company. There’s a basket shootout for students hoping to win a car. There’s even a dance-for-your-dinner contest. But a free Lasik eye surgery? This has taken it to a whole new level.

First of all, what if the contest winner has 20/20 vision? What if she just prefers wearing contacts or glasses? In either case, is the prize transferable? I could use it. For the first time all season, I lost the shell game on the screen Sunday night.

You have to wonder whether this is just the beginning. What might be next? A free angioplasty, stomach stapling or knee replacement? Even better, how about a free nose job or breast implants? Maybe drugmakers can get in on the act. They could give away anti-anxiety medication to the student who looks most stressed out on the JumboTron at exam time.

Most Terps fans would probably find another item more useful: Something to make them forget. Forget that the team blew a 20-point lead in the second half and then lost to Clemson 73-70. Forget that the season, which looked so full of promise just a few weeks ago, seems to have crumbled to dust. Forget that the NCAA Tournament may once again be out of reach. My husband says the only thing that could wipe out those memories is a lobotomy. I imagine no student will be excited to win that.