Who rubs you the wrong way? Photo--thebeanjuice.com
Day 13
Sandpaper: Smoothing the edges
“The only people with whom you should try to get even are those who have helped you.” John E. Southard
Today’s challenge gets real, really quickly. Yes, all of that conflict resolution stuff that we examined yesterday sounds just peachy until you try it in the real world with real people. Real people are irritating! Some more than others, but there are plenty of people—some close to me—that rub me the wrong way. Maybe we should just skip days 12 and 13 as too hard to deal with in a lifetime, much less in a month.
Or not.
Time for a paradigm shift. Yes, I overused that term in the 90’s with the rest of the western world, but it has a place here, and in its classic form. For those who slept through the end of the last millennia or were not born yet, a paradigm is the framework by which we see, understand, and navigate our world. It is build out of multiple perspectives that we acquire over our lifetime. Today, we ask that you adopt the carpenter’s paradigm.
The people that grate against us are sandpaper. Sandpaper can irritate your skin or bring a smooth finish to a work of art. We need to see our encounters with people as a chance for God to do his finishing work with us.
If we set out each day with the carefree paradigm (I want no obstacles today. I want everything to go smoothly. I don’t even want to wait in line at Wal-Mart) then we will see the people that cross our paths as obstacles to the carefree life that we (however naively) seek. If we see them as instruments of our Heavenly Father, used to shape us into His Image, perhaps we can work on our relationships and let our relationships refine us.
Oh by the way, we also have rough edges that grate against others. Yes, really.
For this make it count moment, we will focus on others.
1. Who are the sandpaper people in your life?
2. How do you interact with them?
3. How do you usually relate with them?
4. If you had only a month to live, could you find a way to let these folks sand off your rough edges?
I will skip over the toolbox section in this day’s challenge as being a bit too susceptible to objectifying. For those reading the book along with this commentary, a different perspective on this matter is welcomed in the comments section. Go ahead, rattle my paradigm.
Consider this lesson from the Sermon on the Mount as we consider how much sanding other people need.
Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
Matthew 7:1-5 NIV
Let’s tackle a couple of the make it last for life challenges.
1. How often are we tempted to point out the problems or faults in someone else? Rate yourself in this area with rarely, occasionally, or frequently.
2. Pray. Ask God to reduce the inventory in your optical lumber yard.
3. Describe one person in your life who constantly rubs you the wrong way. List the details that get under your skin.
4. How have you tried to relate to him/her in the past?
5. If you had only one month to live, what would you tell this person?
6. Would it help?
7. What is stopping you from doing this today?
This self-examination stuff a little tough to take all at once? Then let the Brits give us a little relief before you head to today's provocations.
About being a servant in a society that says, that dog don't hunt.
What do you call a guy with degrees in Political Science and Biblical Studies? What do you call someone that served as a Marine Officer for over 20 years and now pastors a church? What do you call someone with this unique perspective of the kingdom of the world and the kingdom of God?
Most folks just call me Tom.
Poems, prayers, promises, and Camel Spiders.
Take a look on the political side, try A Good Read.
Check out a leadership mix of Pastor, Parent, Marine, and American in Forward Deployed.
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