Heart of the matter: Relating and not waiting.

Love one another as I have loved you.   Photo--ststeves.org

Heart of the Matter: Relating and not waiting.

Today’s reading gets us into the second principle, love completely.   The Shooks make a bold statement. Relationships are all that really matter!

Could this really be true? Think about it. Our house, car, bank account, summer home, winter home, trust funds, insurance policies, golf handicap, promotions and pay raises, air miles, and even our last wills and testaments are not really what our lives have been about. These are all things to be used in the course of a life time and sometimes passed on to others; but they are not our life.

Our life—real living—is based on our relationship with God and with others. The Shooks would call this vertical and horizontal relationships. Whether you label them or not, relationships do bring us to the heart of the matter—the heart of living.

Here is the irony, perhaps paradox of modern life—to include those, and perhaps especially those that profess to be Christians. We do claim our relationship with our Creator is paramount, and we do profess that we are placed on this earth to love our neighbor and to bless all the people of the world. We also have a terrible time finding time for what we say is most important.

When do people find the time? When they get the news that they or a loved one is dying, that’s when we find the time. Then we drive, fly, shuffle schedules, and do whatever it takes to make the most of the little time we have left. Sometimes we are too late but we jump through the same hoops to get to the funeral. How ironical that the thing we say is most important is seldom most important during most of our lives. 

Now to today’s make it count moment. You knew that these were coming.

If you only had a month to live, with whom would you want to spend the time?

To whom would you need to apologize?

Who needs to be assured that you love them?

Here’s the kicker—you knew it was coming too. What keeps you from spending your time and saying these precious words now?

 

John Lennon would remind us that “all you need is love,” but he fails to mention that love comes at a price. Some people shy away from relationships because they have been hurt before and the comfort of isolating themselves from real relationships seems to be the only life model that they trust.

The problem is that when God designed us to live in relationship with one another, we can’t really live life to the full as a loner. Most of us have at one time or another take a Meyers-Briggs inventory. Once of the dichotomies presented in this type indicator tells us that our natural tendency is to be extroverted (outgoing) or introverted (inwardly focused). While these inventories have some usefulness; they are not determinative. We choose to have relationships and to take the risks that go with them.

We must always remember that God made us for love—first for Him and then for others. We will be disappointed at some point in our relationship with others. How did we handle it? How will we handle it? 

Blame?

Distance?

Denial?

Forgiveness?

We need to lay a good foundation for our relationships with others and that is a rock solid foundation in our relationship with God. He has done his part—loved us fully, completely, and eternally. We need to respond fully to his diving heart and really learn how to love him. The we are equipped to love our neighbors, to include our enemies.

Here are the Make it Last for Life challenges.

1.       Make a list of the people that you would want to see and share you heart with if your remaining time on earth was limited to only a month. What specific steps would you take with each person on the list (place a phone call, make an appointment/date, drop in unannounced)?

2.       Write a letter to someone whom you have hurt or offended. Ask for their forgiveness and explain everything that you would like to say to them. Set the letter aside for a week, then re-read the letter and decide if you will send it.

3.       Think through your schedule for the coming week. No matter how busy that you may be, find a time to surprise someone that you love.