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TIM CURRY AS PENNYWISE
Stephen King’s IT, one of the scariest novels of all time, is getting a theatrical remake. The 1986 behemoth (1138 pages) told the story of The Losers Club, seven underprivileged kids growing up in 1958 Derry, Maine. When children in town begin to be murdered, this motley band soon discover that an ultimate force of evil resides in the bowels (sewers) of Derry -- a force that can assume the shape of that which most frightens you -- but often appears as Pennywise the Dancing Clown. The kids battle this demon to the (death?), and vow if IT ever comes back, so will they. Thirty years later, as adults, the grown-up and disbanded Losers Club begin receiving phone calls. The murders have started again. IT is back.
IT was previously made into a 1990 ABC telefilm starring Richard Thomas, John Ritter, Harry Anderson, Annette O’Toole, Dennis Christopher, Richard Masur, and Tim Reid. A very young Seth Green played Harry Anderson’s character, Richie Tozier, as a boy. The two-part movie received generally good reviews, and has become a notorious favorite to spring on unsuspecting adolescent viewers to this day. An excellent 2002 DVD release featured a widescreen presentation, and a commentary track by most of its stars. John Ritter is hysterical in his comments -- considering his tragic death months after recording, this feels like a little gift.
According to the Hollywood Reporter, Warner Bros. has just announced its plans for a theatrical remake. Dave Kajganich has signed on to write the screenplay. IT is said to take place in the present day ... by which I assume they mean now and thirty years ago, 1980ish. That could work. Although ...
... the miniseries (without commercials) is three hours long. Even at that length, the movie was almost a cliff notes version of the book. I can’t imagine an adaptation that would work under three hours.
Another thing has me worried. According to the source, screenwriter Kajganich wrote 2007’s poorly received Body Snatchers remake The Invasion, and also a proposed remake of John Carpenter’s Escape From New York. Now ... you see, this is the kind of thing that upsets me. I have spit on the recent trend of remaking John Carpenter’s movies. None have touched the originals, and to even come up with the idea of remaking Escape From New York is enough to get me hot. And the man who wrote that is going to tackle IT? And cram it into theatrical length? To quote another movie, I have a baaaad feeling about this.
In fine, it looks like Pennywise is coming back to town. “Anybody wanna balloon? They float. And when you’re down here with me ... you’ll float too!”
Please God, don't let this suck.
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