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Don't make me mad
The Obama family wants a puppy, but international events have just increased the complexity of the presidential dog adoption process.
Former French President Jacques Chirac was attacked this week by his Maltese poodle, Sumo, who as it turned out had been on antidepressants and had been characterized as unpredictable. This incident put the Obama security team on high alert, and will now require any dog prospect to pass a full medical, psychological and psychiatric screening before being given the opportunity to soil the White House carpet.
White House Chief Veterinarian Dr. Elliott Axelrod told reporters that every candidate for adoption will need to go through a full security check and a risk management evaluation of their breed before they can be approved.
"Someone just told me that Caroline Kennedy withdrew herself from Senate consideration because she didn't want to deal with the vetting process," Axelrod said. "But she would still have a better chance getting named to the Senate than becoming First Dog, at this point."
Axelrod acknowledges that the process isn't perfect, and that a dog that passes all the security requirements might not appeal to Sasha and Malia‘s canine preferences. For that reason he has counseled that the First Family adopt fish instead.
His press conference ended when a reporter asked to see the medical evaluation for former First Dog Barney, who attacked a reporter late in the Bush term.
“Those records are not available,” he said. “You are barking up the wrong tree if you are suggesting that the former president taught the dog a bite command and then suggested that the reporter use that particular word in front of the dog.”
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