Five ways to suck at poker

There may be a hundred or a thousand ways to lose at poker, and one could conceivably write volumes filled with wretchedness on the subject, but the ways to complete and utter suckitude are somewhat easier to digest. To wit, a partial list of my favorite ways to suck at poker (mistakes that I have hopefully rectified or at least managed to control)…

5. Play too many hands.

Many of us are guilty of this one. I mean, c’mon, that 87 suited doesn’t look too bad, and after all, I’m in position, so why not? I could flop a straight or a flush or a set or two pair, so let’s just toss some checkers up into that pot and see what happens.

There are a number of professional players who could go by the moniker “ATC,” for “any two cards,” but they’re a) professional, and b) widely respected as, well, good players. You’re not, I’m not, and they’re much more likely to outplay opponents after the flop.

When you’ve won a bracelet or two, feel free to play tons of hands. Until then, stick to what works, and what works for most of us mere mortals is this: good hands.

4. Put too much faith in a drawing hand.

After a flop in which you’re pretty sure your opponent hit at least top pair top kicker, how often do you call two more big bets because you have a straight or flush (or both) draw? While it’s nice to have outs, there’s a reason they’re called “outs:” because you need to hit them to win the pot.

Just because you’re getting correct odds to call doesn’t necessarily mean you should. An example: would you be willing to call two big bets to hit your straight after a preflop raise and a flop that comes AKK?  While it’s probably better to have a draw than not have a draw (though there’s certainly something to be said about a made hand!), take a deep breath and evaluate each draw each time, and don’t just blindly chuck in chips because the pot odds are correct.

3. Keep the table honest.

People will bluff. Let them. Sometimes you have to fold what you believe might be the best hand. You’re pretty sure that your middle pair is good… but what about when your opponent goes all in? If you call and you’re wrong, exit stage right and there is no tomorrow, at least not until tomorrow. Sure, maybe he’s bluffing. Heck, he probably is bluffing. Is it worth your stack to keep him “honest?”

Continuations bets are another touchy subject. When a seemingly irrelevant flop comes down and the c-bet quickly follows, there may be a desire to call, even though you completely whiffed on the flop – much like you expect your opponent did. Here’s an easy test: are you willing to call post-flop, post-turn and on the river just to snap off a potential bluff? You might wish to do so in limit, but when the betting goes $150, $400, $950, with a potential all in during any point in the hand... what then?

Sometimes you call for legitimate reasons, such as a good draw (see above!), to attempt to steal the pot on a later street, or maybe even because you think you have the best hand. Calling to keep someone “honest” is fantastic when it works. The problem is it doesn’t often work. So cut it out. Have a real reason to call, or better yet raise!, and your stack will thank you for it.

2. Ignore the math.

The math for just about any possible hand is easily accessible. Access it. Commit to memory the most common situations and wrap your head around many others. Know the odds to improve at various points in the hand. Learn how to calculate basic odds in relation to the pot. It’s not that hard, so do it.

If not, please be the guy who calls a bet of the size of the pot to try to nab one of four available gutshot straight cards. Just make sure you let me know at which table you’ll be playing.

1. Refuse to learn.

In other words, take solace in the fact that if it weren’t for bad luck, woe is me, can’t I ever catch a break, blah blah, misc, etc, et. al. ad infinitum to the nth. Hey, guess what? Every time you lose it wasn’t because your opponent got lucky.

…it wasn’t because you got unlucky
…it wasn’t because you couldn’t catch a hand.
…it wasn’t because you couldn’t hit a flop.

Every time you lose… there is something to learn.

Sometimes you get unlucky or get sucked out on or can’t catch a hand or hit a flop to save your life. But mostly, when you lose at poker, it’s your own fault. Yes, you are usually responsible for the end result. If you keep losing, it may hurt to recognize that you are contributing to the demise of your bankroll, but put on your big girl panties and realize that you probably are. Figure out how.

Of all the ways to suck at poker, refusing to learn is the most important; pick an endeavor, any endeavor, and pick the winners from the losers. The winners will be those who have long since discovered that cursory examination is the post-op for losers, while serious analysis and introspection pay dividends and earns the money. After every session, discover your flaws and aim to correct them, and let the other players bemoan their bad luck, while you take their chips and turn them into folding money.  

Now that you have a few ideas about how to suck at poker, stop sucking at poker. Or at least suck a little less. Except against me, where I fully expect you to play the worst possible game you can muster. Thank you in advance.

The following articles may shed some additional light on how to not suck at poker:

 Don't play too many hands

 Don't keep the table honest

When you p0wn n00bz, be nice