Do you remember when your child was little and the “I wanna be a “ would change from week to week, and sometimes daily? Some of their ideas were way out there, like Superhero or Princess. Other times it was something more achievable, like fireman or teacher. And being the good parent you would always say “Of course, you can be anything you want to be!”
Now that they are teens, have you asked them lately what they want to be? It’s important for kids to have goals, both little and big. Due to experiences the goals may change, and that’s ok. It’s also important for them to realize they may not reach every goal. Maybe their passions have changed, the goals were too large, or life intervened. It happens, and they need to learn how to handle the goals not achieved, as well as to celebrate those they do achieve.
Goals can vary: academic, physical, personal. Each has a beginning, middle and end. “Researchers found when teenagers understand that what they're learning can help them fulfill internal personal goals rather than external ones, they're more motivated to learn concepts.”(WebMD http://www.webmd.com/news/20050325/personal-goals-motivate-teens-to-learn)
Kids Health For Teens (http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/goals_tips.html?tracking=T_RelatedArticle) says it best with 5 simple points:
1. Specific, realistic goals work best.
2. It takes time for a change to become an established habit.
3. Repeating a goal makes its stick
4. Pleasing other people doesn’t work
5. Roadblocks don’t mean failure
2. It takes time for a change to become an established habit.
3. Repeating a goal makes its stick
4. Pleasing other people doesn’t work
5. Roadblocks don’t mean failure
When they set a goal, talk to them about it. How will they achieve it? Why did they pick that goal? For the bigger goals it is better to write them down, and put them into steps. Go over the list with them and discuss it. Sometimes talking it over helps to define the goal and the steps to achieve it. It’s also a great opportunity to communicate with your child. Share with them example of goals you achieved, and some that you did not.
Teens of today not only have the “normal” challenges of yesteryear, they have them on a bigger scale. These challenges and expectations come from school, parents, friends, peers and society in general. The flip side to this is the teens of today have an enormous amount of resources at their disposal, especially with the use of the Internet. They can research, connect and best of all brainstorm till their hearts content.
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