Parenting never ends as Boomerang Kids return home

  This Boston U grad returned home to Mom and Dad

A 2008 Monster.com poll revealed that 48% of college graduates planned to move back in with their parents after receiving their degrees that summer. In the same poll conducted a year earlier, only 22% said they were moving back home for six months, but a follow-up to that survey revealed that 43% are still living with their parents.

There’s actually a term for young adults who move back in with their parents after being out on their own – The Boomerang Generation.

Wikipedia.org describes them as, “…the current generation of young adults in Western culture. They are so named for the frequency with which they choose to cohabitate with their parents after a brief period of living alone - thus boomeranging back to their place of origin.” The job market, the recession, job losses, foreclosures and short sales, mounting consumer debt, and a higher cost of living are leaving college graduates and once-established adults with no choice but to return to the parents’ home to regroup and ride out these tough economic times.

There are unique parenting challenges when adult children return home to their parents’ once “empty nest.” The biggest of all is the redefinition of the fundamental relationship. This dynamic is no longer parent – child, but it’s not quite an adult to adult relationship either. The children are legally adults, but because they are again financially dependent on their parents, the playing field is not quite even.

The experts declare that the rules that defined acceptable behavior and conduct when the children were not of age cannot and should not apply in this new situation and this can create some very awkward moments. Being prepared, once again, is a parent’s best defense when trying to navigate through a less than ideal situation. Here are some tips to help parents adjust to the return of their young adult children.

• There must some type of discussion regarding the young adult’s financial contribution to the household and how long they’re going to be there. There are no hard and fast rules here as long as these discussions happen.
• There are limits to what you should do to financially assist your children in their emerging adulthood. Too many parents dip into retirement savings only to see the tables turn on them later in life.
• Use a behavioral litmus test – If behavior isn’t physically, psychologically or morally damaging then permitting it may be the right move. Now more than ever, young adults need to be able make the wrong decision and learn from it.
• Know when you can and can’t help. Some issues – like a young adult’s prolonged anxiety over not being able to find work in their field – may require the help of a professional. A third party’s intervention can be emotionally easier and more effective.

Here are additional resources, mostly dealing with financial issues, that can help you set parameters, creative accountability, but most of all, continue to love and support your returning adult children.

Advice for Parenting of Boomerang Kids

BoomerangKidsHelp.com

6 Tips for Living With Boomerang Kids

With some adjustments, parents and their boomeranging children can still thrive and build even stronger relationships. Facing the challenges of the “new” living arrangement up front is a fundamental first step.

For more info: Parenting boomerang kids? We’d love to hear your triumphs and struggles. Drop us a line at tjjenterprises1@gmail.com