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Teething ring- good! Sister's arm- not so good.
Love bites and so do toddlers. To the victim, it matters not whether the bite stems from teething, aggression or frustration. As a parent, you should look for triggers to the behavior, so that you can identify troubling situations and diffuse them before your child makes like Kenickie and leaves a mark on someone.
If new teeth seem to be the reason, explain to your child that it is not okay to bite people and offer up suitable toys or rings as replacements for human flesh.
In pre-verbal children, biting is an easy way to express frustration. If you saw the incident directly, talk to your children about the events leading up to the bite. For instance, "I know you wanted to sit in that chair, but you have to wait until your sister gets up. It is not okay to bite her."
B.D. Schmitt, M.D., author of Your Child's Health, says, "only after a child is 2 or 3 years old, does biting become a deliberate way to express anger and intimidate others". At that point, you can encourage your children to use their words instead of acting out physically.
Whatever the root cause, it is important to stop the behavior as soon as it starts because it will only get worse. Here are the dos and don'ts to prevent and discourage biting.
1. Don't play biting games. It can be confusing to little ones who have fun getting their bellies nibbled; yet, they get scolded when they try the same trick and take a chunk out of their brother's shoulder.
2. Don't bite them back. This was the popular method of deterrence when you were a kid, so this might be news to you. Not only could you hurt your child, but you also send the message that biting is okay as long as the bigger one is doing the biting.
3. Do tell them "no biting" in a stern tone. It's not a good idea to yell and scream, but you should firmly and in a tone that means business (you've heard the voice enough from your own parents to emulate it) tell them that biting is not okay.
4. Do make the punishment fit the age. Let your child know that they are being punished because they bite and place them in "time out". Their age is the number of minutes they should stay there.
5. Don't reward the behavior. If Skinner's rats could talk, they would tell you that positive reinforcement is always more effective than punishment. If your child is craving attention and you give them attention when they bite, they will keep biting. Keep the focus on biting and keep it short.
6. Do reward non-biting behavior. Did you read #5? Rewards are really the way to go. When you see your child using the alternate behaviors you have taught him/her make sure you lavish the praise and affection.
7. Do explain that biting hurts. Impress upon your child that he/she is making other people feel pain. You may have to equate it to something they have experienced. "Remember when you fell and you cried because it hurt? Well Bobby is crying because you hurt him when you bit him".
8. Do make them apologize to the victim. Whether it is addiction to alcohol or biting the 8th step is the same- make amends. Even children too little to say "I'm sorry" will be able to express affection. They should give the offended party a hug or a kiss to make it better.
For more info: Check out babycenter.com for more information on why kids bite and how to stop them. If these tips don't work, or other aggressive behaviors are exhibited, talk to your pediatrician.
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