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Stepping on Legos
This is an ancient form of torture that began in the days of yore. Okay, Legos were invented in the late 1940s, so not quite yore. Nonetheless, there is nothing more painful than a small Lego in the arch of a bare foot.
Cutting crusts off bread
Do the crusts really taste that different? Has anyone, anywhere, ever seen an adult cut the crust off of their bread? At what age does this demand stop?
Closing the shower curtain
How is it that this is something only I am able to accomplish? My child is 6 years old and still demands that I close the curtain when he gets in the shower.
I know you. You’re saying, "Just don’t close it."
Well, person I don't really know who is questioning me by reading this article, if I don’t close it, then there will be water all over the floor. It’s like Sophie’s choice, only not nearly as serious and, well…it’s nothing like Sophie’s choice.
Cleaning fingerprints off of walls
I am not sure why, but my son feels the need to touch walls as he walks. Between the 200 pound dog slobber (more on that in future articles) and the fingerprints, I could spend weeks cleaning the house and never get done.
I realize that as my son gets older I will have to clean fingerprints off the ceiling. Boys ages eleven to twenty-two show that they have “ups” by jumping and touching the ceiling. This compulsion runs strong in the males of my family. My brother did this, his oldest son does this and undoubtedly, my son will do it as well.
Fixing window blinds*
My blinds are always pulled up on one side and down on the other. If you were to drive by my house, you would see one, maybe two, windows in this odd configuration. It’s as if we are a particularly suspicious family always looking out and spying on the neighbors. If you are a neighbor, we are not spying on you. Have no fear.
*Yes, these are the child safe blinds with no loops and no strings.
Talking on the phone with a child yelling, “Mom!”
Does the ring of the phone automatically alert children that they must:
- Show you the toy they are playing with?
- Ask what’s for dinner?
- Attack with hugs and kisses?
- Claim loudly that they are dirty and ask for a bath?
- Ask to go outside and play?
- Tell an embarrassing story that usually revolves around bathroom smells or sounds?
- …and on and on and on.
Want more? View part 2 of this list.
Comments
Well said! I'm just tired of being tired!
You sound like Andy Rooney, and it's making me tired
I'm tired of little girl clothes that make little girls look like they should be walking the streets. Who decided that was okay?
Hot wheels also hurt when stepped on. We have 2 containers in each boys' room for them to be neatly stored in. However, it never fails that I will step on one of them when I go in to check on their wonderful sleeping forms. Then, I have to hold in the yell!
As the mother of an 11 year old boy I have to agree with the "ups", we have fingerprints on EVERY door way at the top! I am also looking forward to the day that I will be able to potty alone or at least uninterupted, however seeing as I also have a 6 year old and one on the way bathroom bliss seems to be a distant, wishful dream...lol
me too, sarah. sooo tired. so well said, jen!
Childless- I agree. I believe these JonBenet knock-offs are called prosti-tots. I am also tired of never eating a hot meal or sitting down through its entirety.
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