I told you so
Animal safety is not a big thing at our house; we only have two cats that would rather lay on the couch all day than chase the kids. The situation changed when we agreed to hamster-sit for a friend. We’d watch Hammie, a cute little grey hamster, for a week and a half; surely we could do this? Needless to say, some pre-teaching was needed, most of which had to do with not opening the cage, not grabbing the hamster, or letting it escape.
I told the kids that if they’d open the cage, they would end up dropping Hammie, Hammie would run and hide, and those slow, uninspired cats would suddenly come to life and eat Hammie.
“No!” Isabella exclaimed, “they wouldn’t!”
“They would,” I lied in my gravest voice. “To cats, a hamster is like a big piece of chocolate.” She looked impressed, and a little disgusted; I thought I’d done the job. I repeated the line about not opening the cage a few more times, just to be safe, and decided we were ready for Hammie.
Hammie came on Monday morning at 11:15, and at 5:15 that afternoon he drew first blood. It had taken my daughter exactly six hours to get to the point where she could no longer contain herself: I turned my back; she opened the cage, grabbed the hamster, and got bitten. Luckily, Hammie, though great at self-defense, was otherwise exactly as lethargic as our cats and didn’t even attempt to run away. I was able to pick him up and stick him back in his cage; it was all over in less than a minute. Hammie: one, Isabella: zero. Isabella was trembling, but the hamster seemed cool as a cucumber; I think I saw him mouthing the words: “Boo-Yah.”
Of course the big joke here is that I expected my daughter to listen to me. Why did I do that? Did I honestly think discipline would outweigh the attraction of a furry animal? Any self-respecting healthy child would have done the same, and realizing that, I didn’t really punish her. Besides, Hammie had already taken care of that, no need to rub it in even further.
“I am never, ever touching a hamster again!” Isabella told me. I doubt that that’s true; however, it got us through the rest of Hammie’s stay without incidents, and that’s all we wanted. It’s not as if we’re planning to have one of those little fuzz balls ourselves; something that should cause Hammies everywhere to sigh with relief.
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