Honor the spirits of your beloved dead with ancestor veneration

I don’t remember a time in my life when there hasn’t been some sort of altar in my home. Each had its own purpose, but my favorite has always been the ancestor altar. With its old pictures and relics, precious offerings of food and drink, and overall evidence of a whole lotta love from the living to the dead, it came to represent to me the doorway, if you will, between this world and the next.

After Hurricane Katrina, I was able to set up a tiny ancestor altar with the heirloom items that had accompanied me on our somewhat frantic evacuation. It was a bare bones altar but it made me feel like I could, during one of the most stressful times of my life, access the woman who’d been a huge part of my younger years, and who’d cared immensely for me. I love the link to my past and how it enables me to communicate with my beloved family.

If you don’t already practice ancestor veneration but would like to give it a try - read on for information and ideas about how to engage your beloved dead in this extremely gratifying manner!

So, What Exactly IS Ancestor Veneration?

Let’s start with what it isn’t - worship! Ancestor veneration has been mistakenly referred to as worship, but our ancestors are not gods. Rather they are in a special place that allows them to function as an assistive part of the living world, especially for those to whom they were related or had a loving relationship.

Ancestor veneration is a practice based on the belief that deceased family members have a continued existence and take an active interest in the world of the living. Venerating ancestors is done with the goal of paying homage to our deceased loved ones – but also to engage them for assistance with mundane problems as needed. Ancestors are there for us, ready to help us with problems, or intercede on our behalf in the spirit world. In return for their assistance, we “pay” them with food and drink, loving words, and other small offerings.
 

Filial Piety Across the Cultural Spectrum

Creating a sacred place to venerate ancestors is a world-wide practice, and it has roots that go back thousands of years. Ancestors are loved, respected, and honored, but again, this is not considered worship – rather it’s a natural progression of what transpires after death. Most people in North America practice some form of veneration without even realizing it. In cemeteries across the USA and Canada, graves are dotted with flowers, wreaths, and other decorations. Groupings of photos of deceased relatives are often found in homes. Roadside shrines are often seen on the side of the highway to mark the spot of a fatal accident. These tokens of love and remembrance are a form of ancestor veneration!

Some traditions from other cultures:

In Mexico, Dia de los Muertos (Day of the Dead) is celebrated around the 1st of November. Altars are created and decorated with sugar skulls, photos of family, candles, marigolds, and more.

In Vietnam, a loved one’s death anniversary is celebrated with a gathering of family for a large meal. Incense and hell notes are burned, pictures are displayed, and conversations revolve around the dearly departed.

In India, when a person passes away, the family is in mourning for ten days. Six months and a year after that, a celebration is held to pay tribute to the deceased and food is eaten that was preferred by the deceased while alive. This food is fed to the cows and crows as well.

In Ireland, food is left out and lights left on for the deceased at Samhain. It is believed that if food falls to the floor, that it then belongs to the dead, as they obviously needed it.

Creating Your Own Ancestor Altar

Creating the sacred space at which ancestors will reside is an easy process. Below are some ideas about spaces and items to use.

Where does it go? An ancestor altar’s location is a matter of personal preference. You can use a separate standing altar or create an altar on top of another space, like a bookcase. Ancestors like to be in the midst of our day-to-day hullabaloo, so usually the living area where family gathers regularly is a perfect space. It seems sort of sad to have the ancestors in a spot that no one visits, like a spare room, so try to avoid those if possible. Bedrooms are a no-no, as one may experience strange dreams and besides, who wants their relatives in the bedroom? Think of it like this – if the ancestors were alive and in the flesh, where in your house would you want them to be?

What do I put on it? Think functional aesthetics! An ancestor altar should be an attractive space that allows the living to pay homage in a variety of ways, via food and drink, candle magick, etc.

Some suggested altar accessories: a devotional bowl or glass for the offering of drink, a small plate for food offerings, a vase with flowers, candles and candle holders, incense and holder, and framed photographs of the ancestors. A beautiful cloth covering would be appropriate as well – something that was owned by an ancestor is ideal.

Framed photos create a visual link between you and your loved ones, but it’s best to make sure there are no living people or animals in the picture with the deceased. The altar is for our beloved ancestors, and placing living people and creatures on it could be considered bad magick.

Arrange the space in a manner that is appealing to you. Make it as beautiful as you can – the ancestors do appreciate the effort!

I’ve Built It – Will They Come?

Absolutely! The question to ask is, “Will I be ready?” and the answer to that too is a resounding YES. There’s nothing mysterious or complicated about an ancestor altar. This is a place for your loved ones, so listen to your heart and do what feels right with the placement, the accessories, and your frequency of veneration. Learn to talk to your ancestors. Tell them your problems, update them on family news and events, and be sure to pass along your love in the form of a clean altar space, treats, and frequent visits!

Frequently Asked Questions

Who can be on my ancestor altar?

Pretty much anyone! If you loved them, be they blood-related or not, then they’re okay. There’s some debate about people with celebratory status being on an altar if they were not personally known, but the general consensus is that ancestor altars are meant for those from whom we descend or with whom we had a relationship while they were alive. Still, it’s up to you – do what feels right!

What about my animals? Can they be on the altar?

Animals are a wonderful addition to one’s veneration practice, but pets should have their own small altar.

How often am I supposed to venerate my ancestors?

That is a personal preference, but it is recommended that it be done regularly, and at least once a month. Keep holidays and birthdays in mind as special days to visit the cemetery and do some grave beautification.

What about relatives that were mean to me, or that I didn’t like? Do they HAVE to be on my altar?

In a word: NO! Ancestor altars are meant for paying respect and showing love to those who have passed, and there’s no requirement that we do such for a person who mistreated us while alive. In some situations a person may feel that the person may be sorry for their actions and therefore can be venerated, but that is a totally personal decision. The point is that no one goes on the altar unless they’re wanted there.

So HOW do I do this veneration thing?

It’s as easy as doing any other ritual. Decide what level of formality you’d like to have during your contact. Charge the air with intent by lighting candles and burning incense. Bring offerings of food and drink – place them on the altar and leave them. Recite a poem or some other meaningful words to ask your ancestors to pay you a visit. Then, visit! Talk about family, work, kids, pets. Gossip. Cry if needed. Just have a conversation! If you need help with something, ask – and be sure to give specifics!

In closing:

Remember that your ancestor altar is an extension of YOU, and therefore should reflect the tastes and traditions that are important to you. This article reflects the author's personal experiences and readings over the years, and that may not work for you - therefore, you should experiment and be creative, but most of all – enjoy spending time with your ancestors!

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