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- President Barack Obama will address the nation on his new strategy for the war in Afghanistan Tuesday night from the U.S. Military Academy at West Point.
- A Swiss court granted Roman Polanski bail on Wednesday, accepting $4.5 million to allow him to remain under house arrest at his chalet. The director will stay in prison for up to 10 days while the Swiss government decides whether to appeal.
Jobless claims off, spending up in sign of rebound- In a hopeful sign, the number of newly laid-off workers filing claims for unemployment benefits fell below 500,000 last week for the first time since January.
New US home sales rise 6.2 percent- Sales of new homes rose last month to the highest level in more than a year as strong activity in the South offset weakness in the rest of the country.
Toyota to replace 4M gas pedals that could jam- Toyota Motor Corp. said Wednesday it will replace accelerator pedals on about 4 million recalled vehicles in the United States because the pedals can get stuck in the floor mats.
- Dousing rampant speculation, President Barack Obama has decided to travel to Copenhagen next month and spell out U.S. goals for curbing greenhouse gas emissions at a widely anticipated, high-stakes global climate summit.
Shuttle Atlantis leaves space station, headed home- Shuttle Atlantis undocked from the International Space Station early Wednesday, headed home with one astronaut eager to hold his newborn daughter for the first time and another who's been away from her young son since the summer.
- Former CNN anchor Lou Dobbs is seriously considering running for U.S. Senate in New Jersey as "an intermediary step" that could lead to a run for the White House.
Americans Prepare to Elect a New President, According to Naughty America
SAN DIEGO
(Map)
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It's time to put democracy in action.
This new President will rally and represent Naughty Americans everywhere. His or her official duties will include a monthly address to the country, selecting naughty appointees, and assuming the role as leader and role model for the citizens of Naughty America.
The President will be given a
Any man or woman residing in
"Anyone over the age of 18 can become President," said
The road to the Presidency will require effort and determination.
Candidates will campaign for four months, beginning
The new President will get right to work, taking office in late November and serving a six-month term.
"The position isn't for everyone," stated Thomas. "It's really for someone with a deep appreciation for naughtiness, as well as the values of our country."
All major print outlets have begun notifying their readers regarding the election. Look for notice in the
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