Subcultural intersections: polyamory, bisexuality, kink, paganism, engineering, gaming...

Photo by Gabriella Fabbri

One of the characteristics of subcultures is that they tend to stack.  That is, if there are people who gather together around a particular,  outside of the mainstream interest, it's a safe bet that some of them may share other interests that are out of the mainstream.  Theories abound for why this might be, but the simplest explanation is twofold.  For one, those who are curious enough about life outside the norm are often curious about more than one aspect.  And two, there's safety in numbers: if a subculture is small enough, it might find a high degree of intersection with another subculture and form a larger community.

Poly Boston, the younger of the Boston area's two major poly groups, was founded in part by members of Boston's bisexual community.  For this reason, among others, you will find a high proportion of bisexual people within the Boston poly community.  There's also a strong intersection with the BDSM community, so don't be surprised if you find a lot of bi kinky poly people hanging out together.  

This in itself isn't all that surprising: these are all sexual subcultures which, while not explicitly linked, can easily overlap.  But some of the other common interests are less obvious.  There is a running joke in the Boston poly community about "all of these poly, bi, kinky, pagan, sci-fi gaming geeks."  This seems sort of random at first blush, but the connections make more sense after a second glance.

The first thing at work here, at a guess, is outsider culture: the kids who were geeks at school, who rejected traditional religion (and for some, all religion), and who enjoyed speculative fiction also explored alternatives to the traditional narrative once they reached adulthood.  Within these designations, though - pagan, sci-fi, geek - are also found some clues to choosing to be poly.

Paganism has many flavors, but a commonality among them is that they tend to encourage, rather than repress, sexual expression.  Science fiction and fantasy, particularly the work of Robert Heinlein (a minor hero among some poly folk), imagines relationship configurations outside of standard monogamy.  And geeks - defined simply here as people who have a strong interest in how things, or how a particular thing, works - sometimes like to engage in "life-hacking," the practice of experimentation with one's way of living to figure out what works best, rather than accepting the default.

Keep in mind that among the hundreds of poly people I know of in the Boston area, there are many atheists, English literature specialists, musicians, theatre people, teachers, heterosexuals, and non-kinky folk.  The intersections named here are not meant to imply that these things are true of all poly people, and assuming that someone is bisexual or pagan just because they are poly would be a mistake.  But it is fascinating to observe the confluence of these subculture groups, and to be a part of the vitality, creativity, and intellectual openness that such intersections provide.  

Remember, too, that there's no need for you to identify in any of these ways for you to be welcome in the Boston poly community.  The biggest bottom line that most people strive for is respect.