Looking for something to do on a Tuesday evening? The Diesel Café, a mainstay of the Davis Square scene, hosts the Boston Poly Social every Tuesday afternoon-into-evening. If you’re interested in exploring open relationships, or are already committed to polyamory but are new to the area, the Diesel is home to a relaxed if boisterous gathering starting at around 4 pm and going until people decide to leave.
The poly social welcomes anyone who is curious about the polyamorous lifestyle, which involves multiple intimate relationships. Keep in mind, though, that it is not a singles event: don’t go to the social expecting to hit on or pick up people. Instead, just think of it as a meeting-place for the like-minded – who may want to talk about gaming, work, ice cream flavors, or any number of other things unrelated to polyamory.
That said, folks you meet at the social may be willing to talk with you about poly topics, if you’re new, curious, and respectful in your questioning. Many of the folks who make their regular Tuesday afternoon home there are highly experienced, and might take some time out to give you some tips or at least tell you entertaining stories.
Some folks attending the poly social for the first time have complained that the atmosphere is cliquish and difficult to break into. If you are friendly and open, it shouldn’t be too difficult. See if you can join in on a game of Scrabble. Buy someone an iced coffee in this miserable heat. See if you can get yourself invited to dinner afterwards. But above all, be polite. If you feel like someone doesn’t want to talk to you – take the hint. Chances are you’ll find someone who will. Previous reviews of the Poly Social have indicated that just showing up is not the best way to get involved, and you may find this to be true. If so, don’t give up! Join the announce or chat lists and get involved online first. Remember that polyamory, like all open relationship styles, has a lot of stigma attached to it, which can result in some insularity. Approaching with caution and respect is paramount.
The Tuesday Poly Social takes place mostly in the back of the Diesel Café, at 257 Elm Street, Somerville.
Comments
I'll second the "don't just show up." I'm not the experienced bar-hopper, practiced at striking up conversation with strangers, but I can certainly do it. I've showed up at Deiesel a few times and felt totally excluded, even though I'm actually friends with lots of these people! (My friends were always deeply engaged in something, and wouldn't even give me the time of day.) There's something about the atmosphere there.... I don't know.
i second that. it's worth noting that the poly folks tend to be in the back and may not be the only social group there, so a return of some sort of poly symbol (parrot, anyone?) might be helpful in finding the group. Perhaps letting people know online that you are new and planning on being there may help so that folks can keep an eye out. I also have yet to figure out what the perfect time is to show up. I've been there anywhere from 3pm to 7 or 8. Any thoughts?
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