For the second part in my series where I talk to sex bloggers about their experiences with Compersion, I spoke with Samantha. Samantha is the blogger of Not Your Mother's Playground. Here is an excerpt from a post on Samantha's blog about Compersion towards her husband Stephane, followed by my questions.
"I like to think that most things I do in life I do while considering if someone else’s happiness is going to be effected. I hate causing bad feelings and sometimes I worry too much about other people and forget about myself. Not so much the case with Steph dating. It took us quite some time to get to the stage where we both were good “compersioners”.
In the past I would try to be happy for him when he’d head out into the dating world. It’s not that I wasn’t slightly content; I was glad he was getting out and meeting people – not much of a social butterfly, my husband – but there was a part of me that wished he would maybe make some regular, male friends first. You know, good ol’ regular bromance.
I found it impossible to be 100% happy for him enjoying someone else’s company while he was still doing things at home that either hurt my feelings, drove me crazy or weren’t consistent to the life we were making together, in my opinion. He, on the other hand, was always able to separate our home life from our dating lives using his master skills of compartmentalizing. I know now that it didn’t have very much to do with the people he was seeing, or the things he was doing, but issues that we had together that needed to be resolved."
So compersion did not come naturally for you, it was something that you had to learn?
I personally don't believe that compersion is necessary for the success of an open relationship, but agree with Tristan Taormino, who says that it can "enhance" a relationship. What is your opinion?
Our relationship remains fluid as it would even if we weren't open. There are days when we'll be ok with something and another day it might not work for us. Allowing for that flexibility and monitoring it is what truly makes us happy together.
Check out Not Your Mother's Playground.
Comments
Very interesting article on compersion. Thanks for sharing.
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