Is secrecy in closed adoptions harmful? Or is it the experiment in openness that is more detrimental to children of adoption?
The Minnesota/Texas Adoption Project aims to find out.
Led by director Harold Grotevant, Ph.D.,Rudd Family Foundation Chair in Psychology at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, this project is national in breadth and longitudinal in scope, covering more than 20 years so far. Begun in 1984, the project includes the full range of openness and has tracked all parts of the adoption triad (adoptive parents, birthparents and adoptees).
Adoptive Families magazine, in an article by Lee McClain, Ph.D, revealed results of the latest wave of research. Here are some of the findings, specifically about birthparents:
- The majority of birthparents were aged 22-32
- Point of pregnancy at which expectant mother began working with an agency: 1st trimester: 17%. 2nd trimester: 37%. 3rd trimester: 35%. After delivery: 11%.
- The three most important factors, by far, in choosing adoptive parents are (1) educational opportunities for the child, (2) a close marital relationship, and (3) financial security. Likely this means stable rather than wealthy.
- Three qualities historically emphasized by agencies -- physical resemblance to birth family, stay-at-home mom, and similar religious background -- are less important today.
- "As time goes on," says the article, "33% of birthmothers would like more openness 3-6 months postpartum, and that figure increases to 38% by 18 months postpartum." Adoptive fathers, while less desiring of openness, also increase the amount of contact they want as time passes.
- Almost no one wants less contact. "The good news is that almost everyone -- birthparents and adoptive parents alike -- reports being satisfied with openness during the first and second year of the child's life."
- And this: "Openness significantly correlates with satisfaction and post-adoption adjustment among birth and adoptive families alike."
- Finally, this from one researcher, who is also an adoptee: "The more you talk with your children in an open, positive way about the fact that they were adopted, the less of a problem it will be for them."
The study will follow the linked families (birthparents, adoptive parents and adoptees in the same adoption) for at least four more years.
According to researchers, "This study will contribute valuable research findings to the national debate about 'the best interests of the child' in cases of adoption. These findings will help shape agency and state policies about contact between adoptive and birth family members."
For more info: MN/TX Adoption Research Project
Comments
From your adoptee expert:
"The more you talk with your children in an open, positive way about the fact that they were adopted, the less of a problem it will be for them."
Talking about adoption doesn't really help. Would talking about divorce make the loss less painful for children with parents who are no longer together? Of course not.
Adoption, for adoptees is LOSS. Adoptive parents can talk until they're blue in the face--it will never change the fact that adoptees want their own mothers and that adoption is never anyone's first choice.
The real way to reassure kids is to either let them see their natural parents or assure them that they will be able to when they get older.
That might not make APs feel better--but adoption is supposed to be about the children, right?
Hello, Adult Adoptee in reunion. Thanks for giving your thoughts.
The quote you chose came from one of the researchers, an adoptee herself. And while talking alone will not help someone deal with loss, it is better than not talking/processing.
I happen to agree with you that access to firstparents can be beneficial to the child. That is the premise that families in open adoption hold, and what this research seems to point toward.
As an adoptee and an adoptive parent, I can attest that having an open adoption can be complicated, but it has to be better for the child in the long run.
I am offended by Adult Adoptee in reunions comment, "that adoptees want their own mothers"...adoptees have their own parent. Adoptive mothers are not just "stand ins". It takes remarkable sacrifice to take a child, love it and care for it unconditionally, all the while knowing that the child may one day turn around and want their "own" mother. A mother who, for whatever reason, wasn't able to raise the child--yet the adopted mother, is willing to take that risk.
I know it had to hurt my dad when I looked to reunite with my biological dad. Once the novelty wore off, it settled back into what it was, but it's the basis of why I want my adopted children to see their birth parents. I want them to see where they came from and I want there to be no question in their minds of who their family is.
Thanks for the posting Lori!
Bouncingbabyboy"
"I want them to see where they came from and I want there to be no question in their minds of who their family is."
But you're making the mistake that all adopters make! Actually thinking that you have comtrol of your children's feelings.
Just because you, by your own admission, put out such effort to raise another woman's child will not make your child more grateful, if that's what you're counting on.
Many young women are pressured by infertile women like yourself to surrender their children to women like you. That will not change the child's feelings no matter what you do.
Mothers really aren't replaceable.
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