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Because the open adoption movement is not quite 20 years old, it is rare to hear from adult adoptees in open adoptions.
Here are two insightful posts from adoptees in reunion.
RMS Snowdrop, an adoptee in reunion, talks about fielding questions about her adoption, in quite an amusing way.
Example #24: Do you regret being adopted? Yes, I hate that I grew up in an upper middle class family with parents who had advanced college degrees, took us on great family vacations, bought me a brand new car when I turned 16, and showered me with more love than I could ever ask for. Oh, and I regret that they love my kids unconditionally just like they do my sister's kids.
Make sure to see the rest of the post.
Katherine Joike, in reunion since age 12, tells about meeting her birthmother and extended birthfamily, about the convergence of "blood" and love.
I met Y. when I was about twelve years old. My parents left the decision up to me. I said that I would like to meet her and she agreed to meet me. We met at a McDonald’s during July. It was a bit weird for me, because I look a lot like her and I grew up in a household where my siblings and I were as different as night and day,.
If you are or know of an adoptee in open adoption who blogs, please alert me.
Comments
It's interesting to hear feedback from people who were adopted through open adoption...especially adults who have met their birth parents. Thanks for sharing this information.
Thank you so much for mentioning my blog on yours. That was one of my favorite question/answers.
I am offended by the first answer. Why does having money, education and material possessions make being adopted okay? Those things make up for losing your family? Regret? It's hard to regret something that you had no choice in. I regret that the most important decision in my life was made with no input from me or thought to how I would be affected by it for the rest of my life.
I was adopted, I had those things but I regret being adopted. I regret growing up with people who do not look like me or have similar talents and interests. I regret feeling like an outsider in my own "family". Most importantly I regret having my original birth certificate and true identity kept from me. I regret being treated as an eternal child even though I am an adult.
Lee, If you read the rest of my post you would have, hopefully, seen that it was several questions with humorous answers. I have many other adoption related posts in my blog. Being adopted was hard at times for me even though I had a wonderful family. I went through a very difficult time after losing my son and having no med history.
I understand your feelings bc I've been there. Although I don't regret being adopted, not knowing my history and being treated like a child sucked. It infuriated me to no end to not be able to have access to what I felt rightfully belonged to me.
Even though we all share the fact that we are adopted we all have different feelings towards it. I've met some who are very happy, some who don't want to know their bio families, some in difficult searches, and some who are very, very angry.
I hope you will take some time to visit my blog and are able to better understand me. There's much more than that one little blurb.
Open adoption is actually older than stated here. Catholic Social Services in Green Bay, Wisconsin, began the first open adoption program in the country in 1974. I remember it well! I referred pregnant Michigan women there so they didn't have to live with blind adoptions. I've often wished we could contact some of those early adoptees to see how they fared, since they'd now be 35 years old and likely are parents themselves. It would be great to hear from the birth moms, too!
Hi, Jo Anne! It would be fascinating to know how thos OAs from the 1970s turned out for those adoptees, especially compared with their peers in closed adoptions.
Thanks for visiting and commenting. I hope you'll continue to share your experience and expertise.
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