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August is World Breastfeeding Month. Do women in open adoptions have to remain on the sidelines?
Not necessarily.
Regarding placing mothers breastfeeding:
- Adoption Under One Roof: "Every baby book I read drove home the importance of breastfeeding and that “breast is best.” I did try to breastfeed my adopted baby, but I never succeeded in lactating. Even if I had, I could not produce colostrum, which is very healthy for a newborn baby. Only the mother of a newborn baby can provide this."
- Milliner's Dream: "Will a birth mother struggle if she breastfeeds a baby? Perhaps. Is colostrum from a birth mother, for a child whose mother has chosen loving adoptive parents is better than nothing? Of course. Is that always going to happen? No. Some birth mothers will feel that a final gift to their baby is to give them that opportunity to breastfeed, get the immunities and nutrition of breastfeeding. Some may not be able to do that emotionally."
Regarding adoptive mothers breastfeeding
- AdoptionHelp.org: "Breastfeeding my son Jesse was one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. It takes extra commitment and effort to breastfeed an adopted baby and I
- found it well worth the effort. I want to share my story to encourage other adoptive mothers who are considering breastfeeding."
- Adoption Connect: "Adoptive mothers often come in to a breastfeeding consult with a baggage of medical concerns, PCOS, infertility, premature ovarian failure, depression and more, causing lots of skepticism if this will work. The only requirements are an intact pituitary, a breast, and the passion to do this."
Regarding adoptee perspectives
- Adoption Tree: "The thought of an adoptive mother breast feeding an adopted baby disturbs me."
- And the ensuing discussion from Jane: "So my pov is this…..through out the ages women breast fed other womens babies during times of illness, famine and other reasons, indeed there were many many *wet nurses* and it is indeed making somewhat of a comeback – read this Time article and also google wet nurse."
And finally, The Case Against Breastfeeding, in The Atlantic: "In certain overachieving circles, breast-feeding is no longer a choice -- it's a no-exceptions requirement, the ultimate badge of responsible parenting. Yet the actual health benefits of breast-feeding are surprisingly thin, far thinner than most popular literature indicates. Is breast-feeding right for every family? Or is it this generation's vacuum cleaner -- an instrument of misery that mostly just keeps women down?"
For more information:
What are your thoughts on adoptive breastfeeding?
Comments
It's an interesting discussion about breastfeeding in open adoptions. Again...thanks for bringing up such timely and important topics.
I admire women who can make a choice about breastfeeding that is best for them and their babies.
As an adoptee, if my adoptive mother had breastfed me, I would be disgusted. I breastfed all of my babies, and I was a lactation consultant, so I am fully aware of the benefits of nature. My adoptive Mother was NOT my natural mother. For aMoms to breastfeed their adoptive children is a cruel form of child abuse, in my opinion. They will never produce enough milk to nutritionally sustain a child (even with synthetic hormones)cannot produce the immunity rich colostrum, and the only benefit is to the adoptive mother, so feels more like a natural Mother. The joke is on her, though...that baby KNOWS his natural mother's scent, voice, heartbeat, etc. I bonded perfectly fine with my adoptive mother, without her trying to pretend she had me. Is it the same bond I have with my first Mom? No, that is impossible. My adoptive mother did not carry me. Its a different bond. Please stop this madness.
Oh, come on, you're not fooling anyone with your claim to have breastfed and be a lactation consultant! I mean, unless you mean a LC in the sense that some hospitals will give a nurse an hour long lecture on breastfeeding and then pass her off as a LC. To state that the only benefit of breastfeeding an adopted baby is to the mother, since the baby doesn't get colostrum is ludicrous! Any IBCLC (real lactation consultants) will tell you there are MANY benefits to breastmilk for any baby. Women are capable, without the use of synthetic hormones, of breastfeeding babies they didn't give birth to even if they've never been pregnant. Some exclusively (as in no formula). Yes, babies know their biological mothers' scents, but that doesn't mean they don't appreciate the closeness and love an adoptive mother shows when she decides to do the best for the baby and breastfeed it. Get over your sick hangups about breastfeeding and your misconceptions about formula (it's nowhere near as good as breastmilk, which you'd know if you were indeed a LC). Breastfeeding and breast milk are best for babies.
I am a former breastfeeding consultant (LLL) and author of two books and a multitude of articles on adoption. First the health benefits of breastfeeding are irrefutable. To suggest otherwise is folly.
Breastfeeding an adopted child it is not intended for nutrition - which is generally supplied through a tube, or in bottles - but to aid bonding/attachment. Some fathers have experimented with it for the same purpose.
While these unnatural behaviors may or may not help either the parent or the child to form a bond...it is quite another thing to suggest a mother who has "voluntarily' relinquished provide wet-nurse services without causing herself irreparable psychological damage.
No woman dreams of having a baby for another to parent. It is an over-simplification to remove all pressures that come to bear and suggest that women just hand over babies because they ‘decide” it is best.
Mirah Riben
Welcome, Mirah.
The intention is not for anyone (agency, adopting mother) to suggest to a placing mother that she breastfeed; but rather to encourage/allow her to do so if that is what she wishes, to not take away her choices in the matter.
Hi, Adoptedone. What madness would you like to stop? I think you mean adoptive parents breastfeeding for bonding purposes, but I'm not sure. How would you do so?
Hello, Sheri. Yes, ideally all mothers would be able to make the best decision for themselves.
Thank you all for visiting and sharing your viewpoints.
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