page 2: Five ways to battle the office backstabber
“From our research over 17 years, we have found gossip and backbiting are the number one killer of communication trust in teams. 
Nine out of 10 employees experience this phenomenon in the workplace,” says Dr. Dennis Reina, an organizational psychologist and co-author of the book, Trust and Betrayal in the Workplace: Building Effective Relationships in Your Organization.
“Gossip is destructive because it damages relationships, invites retaliation and creates an environment of distrust. Ultimately, it causes the workplace to feel emotionally unsafe,” he says.
Before taking any action, aggrieved workers should differentiate between gossip and misunderstanding. Were things heard through the grapevine or did you actually hear your co-workers making untrue comments about you?
It’s crucial for employees to pick their battles selectively and with caution. As a good barometer, Dr. Reina recommends asking, ‘How would the person being talked about perceive the situation if they were standing there?’
If the gossip is about how you dress, talk, or the bizarre lunches you bring to work, let those comments roll off your back. It’s not high school and if you call attention to frivolous things, you could become labeled a “complainer” and likely lose an opportunity to complain if a bigger issue arises later on.
However, if the backstabbing employee is making rounds to other co-workers about the ‘poor’ quality of your work and making other unfounded accusations, these are things that need to be addressed immediately. Office gossip spreads fast and the more harmful it is the more likely people will devour it.
A good way to confront your nemesis is to send it via email. Be pleasant and non-confrontational but make a point to let the gossiper know when, where and what you heard. Be polite and friendly when you refute unfounded accusations. Close off the email with something like, “As you know, I’m doing my best as we all are. I really hope that we can overcome this misunderstanding because I think we would make a great team.”
No, you don’t have to be friends with the slippery snake, but if you put it in such a nice way as to be respectful and inclusive, you are likely to find a stunned and embarrassed backstabber. Remember the old saying— keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer.
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