Bruce Feiler, author of the monthly “Family Matters” column for the New York Times, as well as of nine widely read books on faith and family, consulted with another bestselling writer, Nora Roberts, for his August 27, 2010 article, “The Joys of Vicarious Divorce.” Also voicing his views on the subject was Larry Hackett, the managing editor of People magazine.
Roberts is known for her romance novels in which couples live happily ever after. Hackett’s publication usually highlights the stories of those who don’t.
Feiler contends that the past summer, which he calls the "Summer of Divorce,” has witnessed a strong upswing in media coverage of couples who are divorcing. Newscasts have spread the word of breakups involving celebrities such as Sandra Bullock, Susan Sarandon, Tiger Woods and Kelsey Grammar who are now divorcing or being divorced by their spouses. Films like Eat, Pray, Love, television programs like “Mad Men” and books like Andrew Young’s The Politician, Feiler says, all share this focus on divorce.
“There’s a lot of bad behavior out there. These are thermodynamic splits,” Larry Hackett tells Feiler. Nora Roberts admits that she is unsurprised by the public interest accorded these breakups. “Love has power, which is one of the reasons we’re interested when it screws up,” she remarks.
Although media coverage makes it appear that divorce is everywhere, in actuality the divorce rate is now the lowest it has been in thirty years. Feiler cites the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which gives the current divorce rate as 3.5 per 1,000 – down 34 percent since it reached an all time high in 1979. Feiler concludes from these figures that “Americans seem to be talking about divorce more, while divorcing less.”
Hackett has an explanation for the declining divorce statistics. “It’s entirely possible that people can look at all those stories and in some emotional way let off steam,” he tells Feiler. Roberts, on the other hand, thinks the spectacle of these all too public divorces enhances people’s satisfaction with their own lives.
“We look at our friends – our celebrities – getting divorced, and it’s like reading a Stephen King novel.” says Roberts. “We think: ‘Man, at least I’m not getting eaten by the monster. . . . Sure it would be great to be beautiful, fabulously wealthy, and have a big house in Malibu, but I would rather be where I am, happy in my life, knowing that my partner is still my partner, even if he’s driving me crazy right at the moment.’ ”
Feiler concurs. “If the Summer of Divorce teaches us anything,” he writes, “it’s that scratching your own itch may make it worse, but watching others scratch theirs seems to make yours better.” One must be grateful to Feiler for discovering a silver lining for this particularly dark cloud.
For more information:
April 12, 1999 ’People’ magazine provides short biography of Nora Roberts
New Zealand Herald publishes surprising interview with Nora Roberts
Collins’ New Yorker article hailed by Nora Roberts’ fans
Nora Roberts interviewed by Australia’s Herald Sun
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