The NFL 2009 Year In Review (part one):
February 1, 2009,
February 11: Brett Favre announces his retirement.
February 27: Albert Haynesworth signs a $100 million contract with the Washington Redskins, thus providing him with enough motivation for the year to do nothing and complain about his coaching staff.
April 25: The 2009 NFL Draft is held, with comic relief once again provided by the Oakland Raiders.
July 27: Brett Favre again embraces retirement, choosing to spend the summer month of training camp in the back woods of Mississippi hunting deer, squirrells, and chupacabra.
August 9: The preseason opens with a throwback game between the Tennessee Titans and the Buffalo Bills. To make things interesting, the Titans wear jerseys they've never worn before, and the Bills wear jerseys old enough to be classic, while not invoking memories of OJ.
August 17: Oakland Raiders coach Tom Cable is accused of punching an assistant coach in the face. Eventually the Napa district attorney will rule Cable will not face charges, as working for Al Davis is deemed punishment enough.
August 18: Brett Favre comes back yet again, proving himself to be the NFL's Jason Voorhees.
September 10: The season starts with the Super Bowl champion Pittsburgh Steelers defeating the Titans 13-10. These two teams would both go on to epic mid-season turnarounds.
September 20: The Dallas Cowboys open their new stadium with every possible convenience fans could want, except a win.
October 19: Redskins alleged coach Jim Zorn gets his offensive play calling duties taken away, and given to Sherman Lewis. Lewis has a playbook that includes the plays "run up the middle," "incomplete pass," and "call swinging gate play over and over again."
October 25: New England beats Tampa Bay in London. To further confuse the NFL's expansion efforts, only one of those places is actually a city.
November 8: The Tampa Bay Buccaneers put on a master class in irony, as they wear throwback jerseys from a winless, creme-sicle colored 1976 team to get their first win of the season.
November 11: The St. Louis Rams announce the remainder of their games will be computer simulated for the purpose of fantasy football statistics only.
November 15: Jake Delhomme becomes the first NFL quarterback to throw a million interceptions.
Click here for part two of the NFL 2009 Year in Review...
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