Get out there and shake it networkers!
You remember your first middle school dance? I sure do. A group sat on the bleachers acting indifferent and bored while a few brave souls crossed the squeaky gym floor to take the hand of an equally nervous partner. Sure, the bleacher kids made fun, but let's be honest, they wished they had mustered the courage. It was awkward, uncomfortable, laughable and memorable.
Well welcome to the world of networking people! Like the eighth graders who attended "'cause there was nothing better to do", many of us may mistakenly believe that we can just waltz into a networking event ballroom completely unprepared. Well strap on your dancing shoes people and put down the punch. You might have been born with two left feet, but even a wallflower can fake it with a little preparation.
Step 1: Who's going?
The first thing we all did in school was find out who was going to be there.
If your event is part of a networking group, the organizers should be able to tell who has RSVP’d. Scan the list to see if there is anyone that could be helpful for you – maybe they work at a company you are interested in, maybe they are part of an industry you are exploring, maybe they know someone you want to know. In any event, note who these people are and make it your goal to at least meet them at the event. And don't focus just on the cool kids either, as you may find yourself competing too heavily for airtime.
Step 2: Do your homework.
Sure, she's in your math class, but it doesn't mean she's willing to slow dance with you.
Pretend for a moment that you’re a private investigator. Your client just asked you to track down a certain person...how would you do it? Apply the same principles here – Google their name and see what you get. Have they done any presentations? Do they have any hobbies or interests? For example, if you research my name, you’ll likely find times for recent races I’ve (slowly) run. Now you know that I’m a runner and you can use that knowledge. Check LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, etc. and see what they post. Are they part of any other networks or groups? What company do they work at? Check your alumni network and see if anyone works there as well. Heck, why not pass them a note ahead of time and ask to get together at the dance. Of course, you could try and find out if they like you or like-like you, but that starts to get a little creepy. :)
The goal here is to understand their background and also see if you have any common interests that you can use as conversation starters. Do this for as many attendees as possible but, at a minimum, for the people you really want to meet.
Step 3: Become an interesting person.
Even when I was a kid I was fascinated with people. In fact, my wife still teases me about it, asking, "So did you find out their hopes and dreams?"
Believe it or not, being a great conversationalist takes some practice. Don’t be the person stuck staring into their drink once introductions are over. Pick a couple recent news items and be ready to chat about them. For your targets, leverage your research and jot down a few questions you want to ask them about their background, current company, or other interests. Take a second to read over those questions – can you anticipate how they will respond? If so, then your questions are boring. Try to ask them something where you cannot guess the response. I cannot emphasize this point enough - spend 99% of your time asking questions and listening. People love to talk about themselves.
Step 4: Keep it casual.
Before the lights come up and you gather your coat, you need to close out your conversation in a relaxed and natural way.
Do not - I repeat - do not ask anyone for a job or a favor during the event. At best, you want to speak with someone long enough that you can send a LinkedIn invitation the following day and it won’t seem like it came from left field. By keeping the contact warm and casual, you may eventually be able to request a favor.
My curfew is almost up so I need to go, but be sure to share your own middle school or networking event tips. None of these lessons are foolproof, but let's face it, they're better than staying at home.
Comments
I would take issue with Step 3. To be interesting is a potential trap in social philosophy. The goal is on target, but the path is skewed. Reverse the thinking. Take the focus off of self. Be INTERESTED instead. Be curious and fascinated with those around you and you can be assured that people will find you interesting.
@bolderfilms - Good catch. My intent was that you become "interesting" by being "interested", but your language choice is probably a better choice. Thanks for the comment!
#2 is important- do your homework and be prepared to answer "what do you do?". Have your 30 second elevator pitch ready. Be interesting, interested but mostly genuine. And don't blow your genuineness w/#4 by asking for a job or favor.
I really enjoyed the article Mark. Love your ingenuity and reminding us of our middle school dance.
Step #4. Great advice. I generally go one step further. Ask every one you meet what you can do to help them. You may know someone or something that is important to them. And do so expecting nothing in return.
@Becky Allen - Great comments and thanks for the addition of having your 30 second elevator pitch ready!
@Scott Boren - Another terrific point, thanks Scott. People are genuinely touched and surprised when you selflessly offer your help.
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