Thanks to rain, we get to wait another day to run The Heluva Good! Sour Cream Dips at The Glen. One more day to listen to announcers say what is easily the dumbest name for a race since … well, quite possibly ever. Let’s hope that while racing continues at the Glen for years to come, they work on the actual race name in the future.
One supposes that desperate times call for desperate measures, and the theory is as long as the check cashes...
So since there was a rain delay Sunday, you try and find all sorts of things to occupy your mind; like staring at a logo for an honest-to-goodness professional car race that incorporates the words ‘Sour Cream Dips’ and trying not to laugh.
It also makes you start to think of all the other stupid names you could call a race.
The Playtex Cross Your Heart 500
Of course there would be at least two support races
The Preparation H 400
Everyone would have to start at the rear. The slogan would be ‘With racing so exciting fans won’t be able to sit down’!
The Trojan Condom French Tickler 500
Instead of catch cans, crewmembers would have reservoir tips
The Meow Mix ‘Tastes So Good Cats Ask For It By Name’ 400
The idea of using a thousand cats form a local animal shelter as grand marshals and releasing them on the stage in the prerace doesn’t work out so well.
The Miller Lite “Just Don’t Drive Drunk and Sue Us’ 350
There have actually been races with beer sponsorship. Alochol and racecars? Think about it.
The Morton Salt When It Rains It Pours 500
Guaranteed to run on a Monday every time.
The Sure Deodorant Your Pits Will Never Smell 400
No sweating allowed.
The Plop, plop; fizz, fizz, oh, what a relief it is Alka Seltzer 400
The Cialis Hard Rock 400
This dual sponsorship may backfire. Of course if it lasted more than four hours we’d have to call a doctor. Cool thing is that instead of a grandfather clock, the winner gets his and her bathtubs.
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