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For those in the West gender equality is a huge stumbling block on the road to understanding Islam. This may be in part because US history is inseparably tied to the history of slavery, the Jim Crow laws, and segregation. For many the slow struggle for civil liberties is a fight still going on today. So, there are people alive today for which from slavery until now is one continuous history, and part of that history is the doctrine of "separate but equal."
Children in school today are often taught the idiom, "separate but equal is not equal," a phrase from the landmark Supreme Court decision, Oliver Brown v. Topeka Board of Education (1954) which overturned the constitutionality of racial segregation as a violation of the Equal Protection Clause of the US Constitution. This victory opened the door to the Civil Rights Movement and the Women's Liberation movement of the 1960s and on, which for many people are the same basic struggle.
To Americans, especially those concerned with civil rights, when men and women are separated in the mosque it immediately triggers concerns about gender equality, which is exacerbated by the high instances of domestic violence, and the clear denial of civil rights to women in the Muslim world. So, naturally they presume Islam is the problem, even though to Muslims Islam prescribes a comprehensive system of rights and responsibilities for men and women which may not be identical, but should be complimentary. Not to put to strong a point on it, but if you are one of these guys who beats his wife you aught to be ashamed of yourself. What you are doing is evil, and the fact that you are contributing to our community being stereotyped by domestic violence is despicable. If you want my opinion you should be begging her forgiveness, preferably in public.
While the primary symptom is a denial of women their rights, specifically those guaranteed to them by Islam, I feel the primary problem is a lack of empathy. Although many people mistakenly believe them to be synonymous, empathy and sympathy have very distinct meanings. While sympathy connotes a kind of pity or compassion for a person it doesn't mean you really understand what it's like to be in their situation. Empathy is a level above that where you are actually capable of feeling what the other person is feeling vicariously. To make it easy to remember, sympathy is feeling for someone, empathy is feeling with someone. For most people actual empathy is very difficult to achieve without having some measure of similar experience. I propose the following to rectify that deficiency.
If your local mosque is like most mosques men and women pray in separate rooms. Do not assume for a moment that this wall of separation is from the sunnah of the prophet, peace be upon him. I will dispel that in an instant. Abu Hurairah reported that the Messenger of Allah said;
"The best rows for men are the first rows, and the worst ones the last ones, and the best rows for women are the last ones and the worst ones for them are the first ones." (Sahih Muslim 4:881)
The only way this Hadith makes any sense is if men and women are praying in the same room. The walls we place between men and women are completely inappropriate, it is an innovation and an injustice. If you don't want to take my word for it, let Shaikh Imran Hosein explain it.
But I digress...
We have to deal with reality before we can implement the sunnah, and the reality is men and women pray in separate rooms in most mosques, and the reality is that in the vast majority of mosques women have much poorer facilities than men. I sympathize with my sisters, wallahi, I do. But I would rather empathize, and if my brothers will join me, inshaallah I have an idea how.
I imagine an event where the men sit in the women's room and the women sit in the men's room. An event where women may go to the mosque and worship in huge halls while men are crowded together into back rooms. An event where women can sit and read quran or make dhikr in peace while men contend with hyperactive children and screaming babies.
I imagine an event where the most knowledgeable woman in the community ascends the membar and delivers a lecture on the rights of women in Islam while men sit behind the wall and listen through an intermittent sound system. An event where sisters gather around free to voice their questions, and their concerns while the men pass their questions foreword on hand written notes.
I imagine an event where women sit around and sip tea and socialize while men prepare the meal.
Obviously some considerations must be taken into account. Some provisions must be made to assure that valid congregational prayers can be made. Also, I strongly recommend that the women of the community be the primary organizers of such an event to ensure that the unique concerns in your community are expressed. I'm sure there are plenty of issues that we men have no idea are of concern to our sisters. And finally, I think a round table discussion at the end of the event, when everyone can discuss their reaction together, is crucial to the successful achievement of empathy.
Now, I'm sure there are male readers who are made very uncomfortable by this suggestion. But realize, the degree to which you are uneasy is exactly the degree to which there is injustice to the women in your community. The degree to which you would object to this experience for one day is exactly the degree to which the women in your community object to this treatment everyday. Even if such an event never takes place, if you examine your emotional reaction to the suggestion you'll have some idea how your sisters feel. And even though it may be uncomfortable in the short term, in the long term if we can have more empathy for one another, we will be more inclined to fulfill each other's rights, and we will live with greater peace and tranquility for all involved.
Comments
As salaaamualakum,
What a great idea. i have personally be dissatisfied with some of the masjid's female sections...I think that if the brothers had a day to switch they may appreciate us much more and work harder on improving the masjid set up.
Br. Davi - Thanks for your sympathetic (and potentially empathetic) column.
I'd like to add a distinction I've noticed vis-a-vis mosques in the US. Many of the makeshift mosques (as opposed to as-built mosques) have awkward, winding prayer halls for sisters, and often implement walls, curtains and the like. Some of these were erected to allow the women more space or to enable the use of the prayer hall in a multipurpose fashion. As-built mosques tend to have better facilities for women, which is something to be proud of, I think.
masha'aallah. me a brother. and i would love to do this. i mean honestly, i am uncomfortable if these events are gonna happen. but I am happy. coz these events will then let the real thoughts come out of my Muslim brothers and they can understand that Islam is about equality!!
in fact, we can do something more sensible. youths are more towards equality and they are real force towards bringing change. get a congregation of youths and i think it will help to take the message out to our elders. Follow me here: twitter.com/joomla6teen
yeah! bring it on. love this article! the mosque that i pray at sometimes on friday, since it is close to my work, is in san mateo. they have a sheet blocking off the women's section in the very back of the hall which means you can barely hear anything the imam is saying and you cant see what is going on. so i have decided that the next time i go i am going to take my musalla to the back of the "mens section" and pray there. let the revolution begin
This article is right on with appropriate quarters for women, but how can there be support for allowing women and men to pray in such a way that there is potential for zina to occur ? The separation is there for a reason and I strongly disagree with the demolition of a division between women and men. It is a completely valid argument for women's quarters in a mosque to be on par with men's quarters, but not having a curtain or something to divide men and women makes zina much more easier at the mosque. May Allah (SWT) protect us.
(This is long; I'm gonna break it into several pieces. Part I:)
I n traditional Jewish practice, women must be separated from and not visible or audible for men during prayer because men are susceptible to sexual thoughts and will be distracted from their prayers. (Just so you know, this is the practice only in Orthodox synagogues. All liberal Jewish religious movements abolished this; men and women pray together. This includes all Reform, Conservative, Reconstructionist, Renewal and most unaffiliated synagogues – the vast majority of synagogues in North America.)
My understanding – correct me, Muslim friends, if I’m wrong – is that in Muslim practice women are in the back and men the front for the same reason. With the bowing and kneeling so close to each other, men behind women are thought to be susceptible to great sexual distraction. I have been told that is why the Prophet, ???? ???????, said the best place for men is in front and the best place for women is in back.
(Part II of III:)
My suggestion is that all the people who sincerely know themselves to be so sexually distracted should go to a separate room where their distractions won’t disturb them. The main room, up front, should be reserved for people of whatever gender whose minds are clear and who can handle being with people who they might find sexually attractive.
Men and women can certainly pray together when their minds are on prayer. Men and men, women and women, who find their own sex attractive can do it too. Rather than shut away people who others find sexually distracting, regardless of their sex, how about doing it the other way around: allow people who are distracted to remove themselves.
(Part III:)
I can be distracted from my prayer by virtually anything, most of it internal. My thoughts, my daydreams, my own inner buzz is more distracting than a woman who I find sexually attractive – even if I am bowing and kneeling right behind her. If I notice sexual thoughts or other distractions, I generally find I can simply take note of the feelings, set them aside and get my heart and mind back onto prayer. Or, often the very thing that distracts me is itself a path into awareness of God and deeper prayer. A bird flying by, a child jumping around or especially a woman who I notice or an elder, a young man, my friends and companions, my own thoughts – all are manifestations of the divine and can be cues toward awareness and a prayerful appreciation.
As we Jews prepare for Rosh ha-Shanah and Yom Kippur, days filled with prayer, and our Muslim sisters and brothers during this holy month of Ramadan return to deepening their prayer life, may God bless us all!
AA,
This is a great idea. Men should at the least experience what it feels like to be a woman at the mosque.
There is a mosque in my community that closed it's doors to women for iftar. This mosque is pretty central in the Northridge area so women would go there between work or classes. It goes without saying, most of the regular women at that mosque don't go there anymore. It's sad that a place where you go to worship Allah can uninvite you because they feel you should worship at home.
Thank you Rabbi Mivasair for the perspective and reminder. Unfortunatly, many mosques are now spending so much time fighting over the small and insignificant details that they have forgotten what our main objective is. A mosque should be not only a center for worship, but also a center for community; a place where we can foster relationships and work together to improve society (all of it, not just Muslim causes!) We are told to "enjoin good and forbid evil"... but how can we do this when half of our community is stuck behind some wall; made to feel invisible. It is so insulting to be subjegated to the back merely because some men cannot control their own desires. I cover, that is what God asked of me... I pray in the back, that is what my Prophet instructed me to do. But do not tell me to be silent, to be invisible, or to be a bystander, becuase that is SURELY not what Allah or His Prophet have asked of me. (is only what men have ordered in their selfishness/fear)
...subjegated to the back *ROOM* sorry! :)
Assalam alaikum,
SubhanAllah,the mosque that i visit gives equal spacing and same facilities to women as to men,we can hear the khutbah,see the imam on TV,mothers have a special room for their children.I donn see any need to remove the barrier or the wall between men and womens prayer hall,with improved technology we can provide equal facilities to both men and women.
Removing the barrier might lead to fitna in the masjid,we all go to worship Allah and we can do it in the best way by avoiding such small events which may lead to bigger things.
When i was a Hindu,i have visited many temples and observed that the temple was turned into love spot for lovers rather than a place of worship because of free mixing of men and women.
SubhanAllah after becoming MUSLIM,i honestly enjoy such arrangement which helps us to be comfortable and concentrate on the purpose of our visit to Mosque.
As with regard to few mosques where there is poor facilities to women,it our duty to educate and improve the facilitites and work together to make it easy and comfortable to both men and women,without compromising on the purdah that ISLAM recommends.
salam,
interesting idea. please see www.womeninislam.org for the brochure on women's access to mosques
for airing the muslim dirty laundry here.. muslim men are somehow portrayed as oppressors of sorts.. there are many things taken into consideration when building a mosque.. and not all women feel victims or recognize a problem in the mosque like the author describes
I am heartened by the people's response to this idea. I honestly didn't expect much positive feedback. I recognize that not all mosques have this problem, and each community is different. I find the concerns about zina strange honestly. I think its like antibiotics. The overuse of antibiotics actually increases infection because bacteria become resistant. Some natural exposure to bacteria actually strengthens the immune system. If we overuse separation I believe it will actually increase zina the same way. If you disagree with taking down the wall you disagree with the sunnah. Good luck to you. How do people who are afraid of zine in a mosque function in society?
Br. Davi:
So you're advocating (a little bit) of zina in the house of Allah so that we can become better Muslims ? Why don't we drink a bit of alcohol too or eat a little bit of pork (astagfirullah) ? While in society it may be a necessity to converse with women, I still have to remember that what I am doing is haram (conversing with women) and still have to repent. And now you're advocating to bring a hint of zina into the mosque.
"We have to deal with reality before we implement the sunnah". So you're saying to disagree with the sunnah also ?
"Umme-e-Salmah says that she and Maimoonah were in the presence of the holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) when Abdullah ibn Umm-e-Maktum , who was blind, came there. The holy Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said "Go behind th...e curtain and screen yourself" Umme-e-Salmah said "O Prophet of Allah, he is Blind. At this the Prophet (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said "are you also blind? don't you see him?"
So you're advocating zina (clearly against sunnah, see above hadith) but you're saying that others are going against sunnah ?
Do you have any experience or knowledge of the science of hadiths to distinguish strong and weak hadith or do you have any real experience interpreting them ?
If you're not a scholar, please keep your opinions regarding Islam to yourself. If people wrongfully follow your advice and consider it to be part of Islam, you will get the punishment for it as well. Please do not undermine the 7-8 years that scholars have to go through.
in rigorous training. We say that the Quran is the greatest literature ever, and here we are treating it like it's a novel. We don't care to spend the time getting a complete knowledge of Arabic or Hadith or Sunnah and here we are giving fatwas on blogs based on our own interpretations. Please do not disrespect the Quran by putting up whatever thought pops into your head without doing the proper homework. You can't interpret the Quran's meaning in English, you have to do it in Arabic, which is the first tenet in tafsir of the Quran.
If you advocate freedom of speech to post anything you wish on a blog, then there is trouble when non-Muslims post severely offensive material on websites or in media (their entitled to their opinion, right) ? What do you then ?
Debates and opinions are strictly frowned upon in Islam because they cause enmity amongst Muslims.
Let me clarify: Opinions relating to Islamic jurisprudence and fatwas. Opinions regarding anything else are fine, but it's dangerous to say anything willy nilly without really knowing what you're talking about.
So you would also agree that the imams of the Ka'aba and Masjid Nabawi also go against the sunnah by having divisions on where men and women pray, and by putting up curtains in Masjid Nabawi when women are allowed to greet Nabi (SAW) ? They are also going against the sunnah ?
Anonymous, if that is your real name - You admonish me for causing enmity amongst Muslims while basically telling me to shut up and sit down? I’m perfectly open to a patient discussion with reason and evidence with full love for my brothers and sisters in Islam. I am always open to correction. There’s no enmity here.
This is not my opinion. This is from Shaikh Imran Hosein, linked above. He is a well learned scholar of international renown and far more than 8 years of study. He reads the Hadith in Arabic in the video. But that aside, if we uneducated masses should keep our mouth shut, does that not also apply to you? You bring a Hadith about the Prophet’s wives (pbuh & ra). I don’t know about you, but none of the Prophet’s wives pray in my masjid. This Hadith isn’t even about prayer. The Hadith discussed by Shaikh Imran is specifically about women in prayer. Do you heed your own advice and remain silent about things you have not studied?
To say I’m advocated zina is a vicious misrepresentation of what I’ve said. Alcohol and pork are not the same as zina because they are rejected by the fitra. Physical desire is from fitra. It has to be managed in a natural, lawful way. The sunnah. If managed in an unnatural way, like bacteria, it will come back stronger. I don’t believe for an instant that the sunnah results in zina in the masjid.
I don’t know the details of what the Imams in Saudi do, but neither do I consider them infallible pillars of virtue. They are capable or error. Do you have evidence that when the Prophet (pbuh) lead prayer there was a wall between the men and women?
As for the non Muslims, they follow naught but conjecture. Let them testify against themselves.
Bukhari Book 004, Number 0952: Anas b. Malik reported the Messenger of Allah (may peace be upon him) having said: When I begin the prayer I intend to make it long, but I hear a boy crying; I then shorten it because of his mother's feelings.
How could the Prophet (pbuh) have heard this if the women and children are behind a wall? Can we not also strive to have this kind of empathy?
WOW Brother Davi! You have literally taken the thoughts out of my head and written them so eloquently! Just this weekend, I was venting to a dear friend that I feel like we might as well go around and tell the little girls in the community, "Don't bother developing your leadership skills my dearies, because you can only go so far as the brothers and sisters in the community feel comfortable with. Only brothers are allowed to lead both men and women." In my experience, it is considered blasphemous to even IMAGINE a sister doing something like giving a khutba, and for many its uncomfortable imagining a sister leading a large MSA. And we're lucky, whereas in other places, women aren't even allowed to attend mosques. I kind of thank Amina Wadud because at least we can JOKE about a sister leading prayer (i.e. imagine a woman in a role that is strictly and unbreakably defined as a man's role).
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