Jamie McMurray emerges victorious while no one wins Talladega embarrassment

To hell with Talladega.

That was the overwhelmingly prevalent sentiment from fans and drivers alike after today's AMP Energy 500 at Talladega Superspeedway. Jamie McMurray finished the day in Victory Lane after finishing first, but to be honest there were no winners. None.

The downhill slide started well before a single engine had fired when during the pre-race driver's meeting NASCAR President Mike Helton issued a stern edict that there was to be no bump drafting in the corners period. Once and there would be a warning; twice and there there would be a penalty for both the bumper and the bumpee up to and including yanking someone out of Victory Lane. To most, this sounded like using dynamite to clear out a tree stump. Common sense states drivers keep bump drafting to a minimum in the corners because of the potential for disaster any time you tap the car in front of yours when either are turning left. As it turned out, except for a couple of field-wide warnings none of the draconian punishments threatened by NASCAR came into play. It had other worries.

Like whether all forty-three drivers who started the race would be living at the end of the day.

For the longest time, this seemed like a certainty unless someone fell asleep behind the wheel. There were more than a few stretches of every car on the track running in single file for multiple laps, thus generating much ire among the members of the NASCAR Nation which for some peculiar reason prefers seeing cars occasionally at least attempt to pass each other. One car with less than zero inclination to oblige belonged to points leader Jimmie Johnson, who was quite content to roll around in the back until as late as possible before attempting to move forward. As it turned out, this was a wise decision.

As the laps clicked off, accompanied by television sets clicking elsewhere and those few fans that were in the stands nodding off, there were occasional outbreaks of actual racing with the usual Talladega-ish earmarks of constantly shuffled positions and frequent lead changes. However, as the race wound down for the most part it was a dreary, dull affair.

This all changed in a heart-stopping flash.

With four laps left in the scheduled length, as the front part of the field sliced and diced there was a sudden, violent burst of activity in mid-pack when Marcos Ambrose bumped Ryan Newman. Newman's car shot to the left, as did Ambrose's. He hit Elliott Sadler, who in turn hit Kevin Harvick. This pushed Harvick into the left side of Newman's skidding car with enough force to turn him around backwards. At this point, the air pushing under the rear wing of Newman's car was sufficient to flip the car over backwards. It landed upside down, its rear wing hitting the bottom of Harvick's windshield. Newman, on his roof, slid all the way up the track, hitting the outside wall, and then back down. Once it hit the grass beneath the racing surface it flipped again, finally coming to a stop upside down. It took several minutes for the safety crew to gingerly turn the car over and then cut the roof off so an amazingly unhurt Newman could finally get out of his destroyed car.

Once Newman was released from the infield care center, the moment the microphones were on he minced no words. "I'm just really disappointed. We had this race here in the spring and complained about cars becoming airborne, and now ironically I'm the guy that gets upside down. I had the roll bars down on top my helmet. I was stuck upside down inside my U.S. Army Chevrolet. It's just disappointing.

"I wish NASCAR would do something. It's a boring race for the fans. That's not something anyone wants to see. At least, I hope not. If they do, go home because you don't belong here.

"It's a product of this racing. It's what NASCAR's put us into with this box with these restrictor plates and these types of cars. With the yellow line. No bump drafting. No passing.

"Drivers used to be able to respect each other and race around each other. Richard Petty, David Pearson, Bobby Allison - all those guys have always done that. I guess they don't think much of us anymore."

Ouch.

When the race resumed, the fact that a large number of drivers had last pitted just at or barely outside of their pit window came into play with many dashing down put line for some fuel while others, such as Jeff Gordon, needed a push to get there. This benefited Johnson (who else?), who was able to make up several positions after finding himself unable to do so on the track even after deciding to actually join the race.

Out came the flag for the green-white-I'd like to thank my sponsors, with McMurray in the lead. Shortly thereafter out came the roof flaps as another multi-car melee erupted. Brad Keselowski hit Kurt Busch, and a wad of cars were swiftly turned into wads of scrap metal. Among them were Mark Martin, who flipped once but fortunately landed right side up, and Jeff Gordon. And Juan Pablo Montoya.

Guess who all this benefited. Yup, Jimmie Johnson, who came home sixth and in the process extended his points lead.

Other than McMurray, who'll hope to parlay his win into a ride next year as Roush is shutting down the #26 team, and Johnson who has to know today was a case of it being far better to be lucky than good, no one was happy today. Only occasional spurts of racing and two horrific crashes do not a quality day of motorsports action make. Talladega today was as it far too often in recent history has been, namely a very unfunny joke. A dangerous unfunny joke.

To hell with Talladega.