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What do you call a group of Harley Owners with a collective IQ of 120?

Sturgis!

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What is the difference between a Harley Davidson and an old dog?

The dog can get in the back of the pickup by itself.

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A successful gynecologist decides to fulfill his life's dream: give up medical practice and become a motorcycle mechanic, so he gets out of the medical business and enrolls at a mechanic's seminar with Ducati.

After many weeks of training comes the final examination, taking apart and then re-assembling a randomly chosen Ducati engine.

He grabs his tools and sets to work, but soon he gets worried: while he is still working on the valve-covers, everybody else is already busy with removing the cylinder heads. He falls more and more behind, and as he is just starting to put it all back together, everybody else is already finished.

He manages to put the engine back together, barely in time before the exam ends. Because it took him so much longer than everybody else, he goes straight to the teacher to ask how he performed.

"Well," the teacher says, "out of one hundred possible points you scored 150."

"But how is that possible?" the ex-gynecologist asks.

"Well, it breaks down to this: You get fifty points for correctly taking the engine apart. And you get another fifty points for putting it back together perfectly."

"And what did I get those additional fifty points for?"

"For doing it all through the exhaust."

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A man was riding his Sport-tourer along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said,' Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'

The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'

The Lord said, 'Your request is materialistic, think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required to reach the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help mankind.'

The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'Lord, I wish that I, and all men, could understand our wives and girlfriends; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, and how I can make a woman truly happy.'

The Lord replied, 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?

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A ten year old boy was walking down the street when a big man on a black motorcycle pulls up beside him and asks, "Hey kid, wanna go for a ride?"

"No!", said the boy, and he kept walking.

The motorcyclist pulls up to him again and says "Hey kid, I'll give you $10 if you hop on the back."

"No!", said the boy and he proceeded down the street a little quicker.

The motorcyclist pulls up to the boy again and says, "Ok kid, I'll give you $20 and a BIG bag of candy if you hop on the back for a ride."

At this point, the boy turns around to him and screams angrily, "Look Dad, YOU bought the Harley, so YOU ride it!"

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