Back to school: Mom, I hate my teacher!

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“Mom, I hate my teacher!”

These are words that every parent dreads hearing at the beginning of the school year. You send your child off to school, you hope that the next several months go smoothly and bam! First day of school and already your child is having a bad year.

There are things you can do to help. First, it’s important not to dismiss your child’s statement. Yes, your child could be a drama queen and just hate the fact that summer is over. And yes, some children have difficulty adjusting to change—and a new school year is filled with change.

But a 2004 study by Nye, Konstantanopoulos and Hedges found that the teacher in your child’s classroom can have a profound effect on your child’s education, even more of an effect than school choice. So you need to determine if there is a legitimate reason for your child to hate her teacher.

Talk to your child. Ask her for specifics. Is the teacher mean? Nice? Boring? Keep an open mind. While you may not think a boring teacher necessarily translates to a hated teacher, remember your child. To her, that might be the case. And she may not learn much all year as a result.

After you’ve determined what the actual cause of the dislike is, consider your child. Is she a drama queen? Easily bored? Excited by everything? Does she exaggerate at all? Try to be as objective as possible. Like the teacher, your child is human and probably not perfect.

Next, ask around the playground or PTA meeting. Yes, it’s gossip. But you need to find out if others have had issues with the teacher. Don’t rush to judgment, but definitely listen to criticism or praise about the teacher.

If possible, try to help out in the classroom or on field trips. Observing the teacher will help all of you. Does what your child and others say about the teacher necessarily hold up during observation?

Finally, schedule a conference with the teacher, whether or not you believe the teacher is the problem. This shows your child her issues are supported. Without accusing either the teacher or your child, let the teacher know your concerns. Try to figure out a plan to have everyone work together to make this year one that is beneficial to everyone: you, your child and the teacher.

If all else fails, contact the principal. Arrange to have your child transferred out of the class. Be sure to note in your request for transfer every step you have taken to correct the issue.