Adoption Search Success: The reunion

The beautiful daughter that I found after 29 years was getting ready to call any moment! I was nervous, excited, scared, and many other verbs. The search angel, Joanne, that had helped to find her, was now arranging the first contact between the two of us. Being very experienced, she'd done this hundreds of times and sensed the nervousness and fear in my voice. Her next words were soothing and encouraging, "Your daughter has been wanting to find you. She was raised by loving parents who always told her that you gave them a blessing, her."

At that moment, the tears that had been welling up in my eyes from anxiety, began rolling down my cheeks in relief. My ultimate prayer for this child had been simply for her to be loved and cared for, and above all, not feeling rejected from adoption. The search angel allowed me a moment to gather my emotions and next said, "She is going to be calling you with in the next ten minutes if you're ready. "Yes!" I was definitely ready.

I was not alone, but with a very good friend of over 15 years. Shelly knew everything about my childhood experiences and the daughter I had been hoping to one day find. She was adopted as a toddler and was searching for her family also. For this reason, she was my best emotional support many times through the years. Shedding light from the perspective of an adoptee. Although adopted, her childhood and adolescence had been tainted by emotional. verbal abuse, feelings of abandonment, and neglect at the hands of her adoptive mother. Knowing Shelly's full story evoked many emotions in me, anger, fear, sadness, love, and hope. Such a kind and caring individual despite her childhood, I drew faith in seeing how she recognized, there must have been a good reason for her parents to place her for adoption. She harbored no  resentment and was even prepared to accept if her birth family did not want a relationship with her! Her deep desires were simply to see, touch, and talk to her mother if only once, in an attempt at just make a connection to her life. 

She assured me that my daughter was alive, well, and most likely wanted to one day meet me. So this moment was more special because she'd so often been a shoulder to cry on and heard my desires and concerns. From the very start she always encouraged me to never give up hope. It was no coincidence that at the moment of reconciliation, she of all people was sitting right next to me.

The phone rang, I said a quick prayer and with my heart trying to beat its way into my throat answered. As I heard her voice say "It's me..." I realized she didn't know whether to reference me as mom or by my name. But more importantly, I heard the smile in her voice when she said "I'm so happy you looked for me."

On that particular call we discussed everything pertaining to the search, her parents, what information she had and did not have and much more, but it was those words that I floated on really, for the remainder of the call. 

JoAnne Stanik, founder and administrator, of Adoptiondatabase.org has a story that I see as a miraculous twist of events. The mother of 3, she was married to a man who instantly became attached to her children and loved them as if they were his own. Until one trying day, JoAnne's two oldest children had been hit, head on by a drunk driver and were injured badly. She spent the next 2 years in and out of doctors, therapists, and counselors offices trying to get them nursed back to health. When tragedy struck again, this time fatally. JoAnne's youngest daughter had been killed in yet, another car accident.

The next coming year for JoAnne and her family was dark and dreary. Mourning the loss of her baby and irrevocable affects of the injuries her  2 other children experienced, she felt lost and barely hanging on herself. Her husband also mourning and witnessing the slow torture JoAnne was suffering, reached out to her one day. He told her of a daughter he'd fathered that had been placed for adoption. In losing his step child, he had grown a deep longing to find this child. He asked JoAnne if she thought it was possible. 

She spent the next 3 years searching and hit gold! She was amazed at the affect it had on her husband when she told him the good news. Her exact words were "It was the first time in my life that I ever saw a man literally drop to his knees the day I told him that I had just talked to his daughter on the telephone."  JoAnne's  determination and success moved him and before he knew it, he was telling her about yet another daughter!  Somewhat shocked yet inspired, JoAnne was on the search again.

She successfully reunited her husband with his two long lost daughters and experienced a short term joy. It wasn't long however before that deep pain from losing her child began to pull on her again. She realized that by immersing herself into the search for her step daughters, she had found an escape from hurt that losing her child created. The joy off victory in uniting them together gave her a feeling of happiness and worth that she didn't  even know could exist again. Enter Adoptiondatabase.org. Now 10 years later, over 4,000 adoptees have been reunited with their birth families, including myself due to the organization's dedication and hard work. Bravo Joanne Stanik!

Adoptiondatabase.org is a non profit organization of birth parents, siblings, grandparents, adoptees, adoptive parents, and other family members impacted by adoption in someway. The organization is truly altruistic, operating solely off of donations from it's members. If you or anyone you know are searching for a family member I highly recommend registering with them and if possible make a donation to support them and this ongoing need. I am just one success story of many. Visit their website to view other testimonies and connect with many still in the throws of the search Adoptiondatabase.org. 

Residents of Beaufort may contact Adoption Answer for immediate assistance with uplanned and crisis pregnancy. 1-877-222-9239 or visit their website for more information adoptionanswer.com. Please share any comments and success stories below in the comments section. You may comment anonymously.