Violet Blue's 'Seal it with a kiss' an uproarious and luscious read

The man I dated before I met my husband was a fabulous kisser. The first time he planted his experience lips on my own, I remember thinking I might swoon from the pleasure. I complained vehemently to him, “You’ve ruined me for other men!” but the truth was that I was just rediscovering my inner vamp. Such is the power of a really, really good kiss. And now, Violet Blue, has packaged all the secrets of those knockout kisses in her latest, Seal it With a Kiss (Cleis Press, 2010), a delicious and funny read that is the antidote to every Tom, Dick and Harry who was clueless about the luscious art of mouth-to-mouth lovemaking.

Kissing is, in Blue’s own words, “one of the most sensual of all the acts of flirting, foreplay, seduction, and sex we can enjoy…and one kiss can change everything.” For better or for worse, kissing is the gauge by which we can measure physical chemistry. It’s difficult to want to get naked with someone when their mouth feels like limp, damp noodles next to your own. Quite the lust buster, not to mention how depressing it can be to kiss so many frogs before you find a man with princely lips.

But don’t think for one minute that Seal It is just another how to manual for the lip impaired. Nope, not at all. This book is packed with useful insights, clever innuendos and plenty of technique to teach even those with lothario lips a thing or two about kissing.

For starters, Seal it does a fine job of introducing the reader into the secret world of kissing, describing what elements go into a great kiss, and what do not. Things like timing, location, technique and style for starters (“a great kiss happens right when it is supposed to, while an ill-timed kiss can ruin everything and practically peel the paint off the walls.”) There’s even a quiz to determine your own ‘Kiss me deadly, darling’ style that practically guarantees to put a smile on your lips, the very ones that are made for kissing. So as not to spoil the fun, Modern Love recommends that you read the book to find out if your own fabulous, descriptive brand: hot lips, power puss, sweet lips, or pure delicious poison.

Seal it is the kind of book that will make you laugh out loud. Blue really is that funny a writer. When answering the question, ‘does he really want it?’ she concludes, “Yes, hot pants, they all want you. But only give ‘em a little nibble at a time. When sizing up your toy for a potential smooch, make sure he’s really ready for the close up…And I’m not talking about what’s happening in his trousers.” Once your done giggling like a conspiratorial adolescent, Blue whisks you away to more serious terrain about body language and picking up on the clues men give us when they want to kiss us too.

There’s plenty of technique in Seal It to help every gal find her kissing confidence. In the chapter called, ‘Your mouth: he’s gotta have it’ Blue offers up some basic moves that she playfully admits, ‘might sound silly at first,’ and she rightfully insists readers “try them anyway.” One of the most useful practices of all: “Kiss the palm of your hand softly, then more firmly; then see how it feels to mash your lips into it. Your palms are sensitive and perfect for practicing the sensations of kissing his lips, face, neck and more.”

Another chapter, ‘Kissing: a field guide’ is a hilarious romp into the “different types of kissing animals in the smooching zoo [to] help you find the perfect fit.” It’s impossible not to walk down memory lane, thinking of past kissing moments and the men who helped create them in this chapter. I can’t decide if Mr. Great Kisser above is a ‘Hero’ (“Appearance: proud, big chin, cape. Ideal first kiss: suspended over a pit of alligators right before escape, after saving you, or out of costume when you think he’s someone else”) or ‘Rough trade’ (“Attitude: I work hard and I kiss like I mean it. Ideal first kiss: At the end of a great date, with him taking the lead.”)

Blue even manages to turn scary kisses into laughter. “Every girl’s nightmare. He’s totally cute, funny, the conversation is good – but then you kiss and it feels like he’s trying to clean the inside of your mouth as if it were a fish tank.” From the zombie kisser, to the Zoolander smooch, Seal It aptly describes those worse kissing moments with panache and humor.

Seal It shows readers how to deliver a knockout kiss, how to keep your lips primed for best kissing action, and how to be a certifiably irresistible make-out artist. There’s even a chapter devoted to kissing games, to make sure readers will go “down in history as a legend whose kisses are talked about and compared to the finest paintings or the most erotic sculptures a guy would ever want to wrap his lips around.”

Through out this book Blue employs a winning technique: make the reader laugh, share just a bit more relevant and sexy information, and then keep you begging for more. Come to think of it, that’s exactly like a great kiss, which is why this is a book Modern Love bestows 5 enthusiastic kisses upon.

(And for those readers who are wondering, “What about your husband’s kisses? For heaven’s sakes!” I coyly submit that he ranks there with the kind of pucker-up books like this are written about. At least, that's what I would say if I were the type to kiss and tell.)

For more on Violet Blue, visit her website, tinynibbles.com. You can also find a complete listing of erotica by Cleis Press books here. For related columns, please read: 'Best Sex Writing 2010' a saucy collection for the daring and the demure Porn Princess Allison Tyler: 13 loving, sexy tips for trend-setting women Violet Blue, 2009 Sexaminer writer of the year

Modern Love is not your average relationship column; it offers analysis beyond the news, scandals and stories. Sometimes serious, sometimes playful, often spicy, it seeks to deepen our understanding of love and help couples create more meaningful relationships.

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